The Balance

Lately I've been trying to find the balance. How to be me. How to be a wife. How to be a mother. How to be a daughter with disabled, Senior parents (who aren't even 70 yet). It's not easy and I haven't really found it.

Here is my nighttime routine in short:

1. Get Little Man upstairs
2. Sit him on the potty and cheer if he pees!
3. Get him in his overnight diaper and pajamas
4. Brush his teeth
5. Give kisses and pass him off to daddy
6. Go downstairs to my parents' suite
7. Help my mom go to the bathroom
8. Help my mom into her adult diaper 
9. Help my mom out of her clothes/into her nightgown
10. Kiss her goodnight 
11. Go upstairs to sit with my husband and job hunt*

*Note: I am currently unemployed and seeking full time employment. It has been a rough month or so and hopefully I will find something before unemployment insurance runs out this Winter.

So finding the balance between caring for everyone and digging myself out of a financial hole that I dug myself for the most part, is not easy. And when I do get that new job, I'll have to balance full-time daycare drop offs and being a working mother as well as a part-time caregiver (my dad actually does most of it). Add to the mix my sibling living here and not contributing and adding to emotional turmoil... well, I don't know how long we'll last and then my mother will suffer.

It's hard being in the generation I am in and being an "older" mother. My situation is a big part of why we chose to be "one and done" because if I had two, I think I'd be having a breakdown. I just cannot split my attention any further. It is not an easy road ahead of me... I just hope I have the energy to get myself where I should be and our family in a better place.

Stat-a-palooza!

So as I wrote earlier in the week, Little Man is 3 and today was his well  child visit so I have stats to share. I think my husband is a bit disappointed by his height (he isn't as tall as we'd expected) but overall we're thrilled by how well he's grown.

HEIGHT: 38 inches (65th percentile)
WEIGHT: 35.8 pounds (84th percentile)

He is such a sweet kid.  He totally amazed his pediatrician for correctly identifying an otoscope (thanks to Doc McStuffins!) and the fact that he is talking up a storm at 3 makes me feel that the year in Early Intervention was the best thing ever!  He went from no sentences at age 2, to 9 words or more on average at age 3.

My sweet, sunshine boy is just a blessing.

I'm glad that the one child I have is so remarkable. I think I made the right choice to stop at one.

THREE!!!!!

Yes, once again I have sadly neglected this blog. Only two posts in 3 months... I promise I will update this week as a LOT has been happening in my life.  However, the main thing I am going to share today is...

LITTLE MAN TURNS THREE TODAY!!!!!!

I can hardly believe how much time flies!  I blogged HERE about his birth back in 2009. I can't believe my 9 lb baby is now a 37 lb boy. He is so big. He is talking up a storm! (And last year I was panicking about all sorts of things.) He is a super sweet boy who sleeps in a BIG BOY BED and has given up naps about 95% of the time. He loves his mommy and daddy and his dog, Casey.  I have such a sweet, special boy.  Everyone who meets him, loves him. He is just that engaging. 

He doesn't go for his well visit until Friday, so I don't have any stats yet, but I can share his likes.

• Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
• Little Einsteins
• Doc McStuffins
• Jake & the Neverland Pirates
• Octonauts 
• Toy Story (1-3)

So, basically, anything DISNEY!  He does watch far too much TV.  And he LOVES animals! We had his 3rd birthday party this past Saturday at the Turtleback Zoo in West Orange, NJ. It's a great zoo and he had a fantastic time!

Here is the collage the Picture People created during his 3 year photo shoot a few weeks ago. (I bought the rights to the CD, so I'm sharing "legally". He is such a ham!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Little Man!!!!!