Last year, on New Year's Eve, I was newly pregnant—only 8 weeks along—and so tired from the early pregnancy symptoms.
This year, on New Year's Eve, I'm a tired mom of an active infant. I'm in bed, typing away on my blog, just before 11 pm. And I hope to be going to sleep BEFORE the ball drops and it's 2010.
Overall, it was a great year. The most amazing one of my life. In 2009 I went through most of my pregnancy and delivered a beautiful, happy baby boy. I shouldn't complain about anything... though there were ups and downs. Money woes. Little Man's brachycephaly and the helmet. My feelings of guilt.
And now as this year ends, so will my grandmother's long life. She fought to be around, with her family, even though she would have liked to have followed my grandfather when he died in May of 2007. But she was here to see me marry. To see me FINALLY become a mother. Momma has been such a huge influence in my life. And soon she will no longer be there for me to talk to. I have been blessed to have her for so long. It's her time and Hospice is taking care of her during her last days. But it doesn't make it easy. And I'm sad that Little Man won't remember her at all. But at least she got to know him. Got to love him. And that's a special thing.
So as this year ends—a new one begins. I hope that the year ahead is full of wonderful discoveries for my son. For me, as I watch him. For my husband, who needs a new path. And the coming year brings to me a new decade. I'll turn 40... Well, that's not something I'm that thrilled with. But I hope that the New Year is truly a Happy one.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Initial Thoughts on Little Man's Helmet
It's not so bad. I mean, yeah, it's a bit unwieldy and rougher against my arm when I feed him a bottle. But it doesn't look sterile (even undecorated in white) and Little Man looks rather cute in it. He really isn't crying or sleeping any differently. He does not like when I take it on and off for his exercises (for his Torticollis) but beyond that, seems to be adjusting well to his new "chapeau."
After months of feeling guilt for allowing my son's head to flatten, I'm now feeling HOPE that by wearing the DOC band that he'll have a base of his skull again. Even though this has cost us a lot financially, I went to the right place for my son.
I'm going to add a "page" to my blog with before photos and share them with you. I know there are other moms who are dealing with plagiocephaly, brachycephaly, scaphocephaly and torticollis. But I don't want this to be the ONLY focus of my blog. This is just a part of Little Man's life—and mine. Motherhood is full of challenges and celebrations and I want to document as many of them as I can.
Little Man will be my only child and I want to ENJOY his infancy and his milestones and ever-developing personality.
So the helmet is just a part of his life—it doesn't define him.
After months of feeling guilt for allowing my son's head to flatten, I'm now feeling HOPE that by wearing the DOC band that he'll have a base of his skull again. Even though this has cost us a lot financially, I went to the right place for my son.
I'm going to add a "page" to my blog with before photos and share them with you. I know there are other moms who are dealing with plagiocephaly, brachycephaly, scaphocephaly and torticollis. But I don't want this to be the ONLY focus of my blog. This is just a part of Little Man's life—and mine. Motherhood is full of challenges and celebrations and I want to document as many of them as I can.
Little Man will be my only child and I want to ENJOY his infancy and his milestones and ever-developing personality.
So the helmet is just a part of his life—it doesn't define him.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Big Day
Little Man is getting his DOC Band today. I'm a jumble of emotions right now. I'm still feeling so terribly guilty for letting him sleep for hours on end in the same position in his infant carrier. And while I know I didn't KNOW, it's still hard to move past this. My husband keeps saying "it's not your fault" but I was home alone with him for two months.
That sick feeling gets worse when I see photos of him from his first 6 weeks of life. It's like the flatness happened overnight. But, honestly, it just got worse over the last two months (even though I kept him off his back as much as possible) and I've since found out that it's NOT easy to reposition for Brachycephaly.
So now I'm feeling hopeful that Little Man's head will finally "round out" and that he'll do leaps and bounds better developmentally once his head is more balanced on his shoulders and not "front heavy".
I haven't really posted any photos of Little Man, but I will as his journey with Brachycephaly and a DOC Band continues.
That sick feeling gets worse when I see photos of him from his first 6 weeks of life. It's like the flatness happened overnight. But, honestly, it just got worse over the last two months (even though I kept him off his back as much as possible) and I've since found out that it's NOT easy to reposition for Brachycephaly.
So now I'm feeling hopeful that Little Man's head will finally "round out" and that he'll do leaps and bounds better developmentally once his head is more balanced on his shoulders and not "front heavy".
I haven't really posted any photos of Little Man, but I will as his journey with Brachycephaly and a DOC Band continues.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Four Month Stats
Not much for this blog except for the bare basics.
Birth
Weight: 9 lb
Height: 20-1/2"
4 Months
Weight: 17 lb 12 oz (90th percentile)
Height: 25-1/4" (60th percentile)
He's a big boy!
Birth
Weight: 9 lb
Height: 20-1/2"
4 Months
Weight: 17 lb 12 oz (90th percentile)
Height: 25-1/4" (60th percentile)
He's a big boy!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Going with a DOC Band
Little Man goes for his scan at Cranial Technologies this week. My husband and I decided to go with an active band (and pay out of pocket) rather than get a passive one (from Hanger) even though our insurance would pay 100% for it. Yep, we're paying $3600, which we don't have since I really haven't heard well of passive bands/helmets from other plagio moms.
I got a better feeling from CT. They ONLY do this. Hanger, while it seems like a great company, does not. Plus they helmet for 6 months as opposed to the 2-3 estimate from Cranial Technologies. I know it could take longer and, honestly, we most likely would not go with a 2nd band if the improvement is good enough. But I felt more confidence in the staff of CT and am very optimistic about how Little Man will do.
On a positive note, my parents and Dude's parents are going to help us financially. So the cost of the helmet isn't so scary high. It's still a hit, but their help has eased some of our burdens. And it goes to our out-of-network deductible... that's something, right? I just need to make sure that CT submits it to our health insurance.
Another thing that's helping us is a Care Credit loan. It's like a credit card for health care expenses. Only that you get a 0% interest option for up to 24 months—though in this case it was for 12. But 12 is better than nothing, right?
In other news: Little Man is 4 months old today!
He goes for his well baby appointment (and shots... poor guy) on Wednesday. I'm so curious as to how big he is. I'm guessing he'll have doubled his birth weight and be 18 pounds. And I hope the pediatrician gives the go ahead for rice cereal, since he's always hungry. I'll update on Wednesday and will share his 4 month photo.
And as an update to his Torticollis, he's doing really well in physical therapy. I'm really glad about that. I hope he'll only go for a few more months.
I got a better feeling from CT. They ONLY do this. Hanger, while it seems like a great company, does not. Plus they helmet for 6 months as opposed to the 2-3 estimate from Cranial Technologies. I know it could take longer and, honestly, we most likely would not go with a 2nd band if the improvement is good enough. But I felt more confidence in the staff of CT and am very optimistic about how Little Man will do.
On a positive note, my parents and Dude's parents are going to help us financially. So the cost of the helmet isn't so scary high. It's still a hit, but their help has eased some of our burdens. And it goes to our out-of-network deductible... that's something, right? I just need to make sure that CT submits it to our health insurance.
Another thing that's helping us is a Care Credit loan. It's like a credit card for health care expenses. Only that you get a 0% interest option for up to 24 months—though in this case it was for 12. But 12 is better than nothing, right?
In other news: Little Man is 4 months old today!
He goes for his well baby appointment (and shots... poor guy) on Wednesday. I'm so curious as to how big he is. I'm guessing he'll have doubled his birth weight and be 18 pounds. And I hope the pediatrician gives the go ahead for rice cereal, since he's always hungry. I'll update on Wednesday and will share his 4 month photo.
And as an update to his Torticollis, he's doing really well in physical therapy. I'm really glad about that. I hope he'll only go for a few more months.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Little Man Needs a Helmet
When I started this blog, my first entries were about Little Man's two month well baby visit and the fact that he was diagnosed with Torticollis and Positional Plagiocephaly. When I went to his three month visit (with another pediatrician in the practice) I brought it up and how his head shape hadn't changed. That doctor suggested I take Little Man for an assessment at Cranial Technologies, who makes the DOC band for reshaping babies' heads.
I had a feeling that my son would need a helmet and I even figured out what type of head shape my baby had. It was confirmed that Little Man has Brachycephaly and, to my surprise, a technically severe case. I say technically since he looks like a moderate case (if you click on the link and view the photos) but by his measurements—100%, which means his head is as wide as it is tall and it should be 1/3 taller than wide—his case is severe. So a DOC Band was recommended.
I'm now waiting for their insurance coordinator to contact me. The chances of our insurance covering this band is pretty slim, especially considering our policy has an exclusion for orthotic devices for reshaping purposes. And that really sucks since the cost for one helmet is $3600 and sometimes babies need two. But I'm praying that our son will only need the one and will only have to wear it for 2-3 months.
It's so weird saying 2-3 months when he isn't even 4 months old! He'll be wearing a DOC band until he is 7 months old (give or take) and that will be about half his life. But for his future well-being, my husband and I will be going ahead with this, regardless of what our insurance does or does not cover.
Apparently babies with untreated brachycephaly have increased risk for ear infections, TMJ and often do not fit into bicycle helmets (or football helmets). It's very difficult to reposition a baby with this type of plagiocephaly and, thus, banding is very often recommended. Add to the mix Little Man's Torticollis... well, it's a long road ahead of us.
So in the coming weeks, I'll probably blog a lot about the process of getting a helmet and my financial woes as a result. But I'm doing what's best for my son and his future head shape. I hope he won't be too irritated by the helmet once he gets it.
I had a feeling that my son would need a helmet and I even figured out what type of head shape my baby had. It was confirmed that Little Man has Brachycephaly and, to my surprise, a technically severe case. I say technically since he looks like a moderate case (if you click on the link and view the photos) but by his measurements—100%, which means his head is as wide as it is tall and it should be 1/3 taller than wide—his case is severe. So a DOC Band was recommended.
I'm now waiting for their insurance coordinator to contact me. The chances of our insurance covering this band is pretty slim, especially considering our policy has an exclusion for orthotic devices for reshaping purposes. And that really sucks since the cost for one helmet is $3600 and sometimes babies need two. But I'm praying that our son will only need the one and will only have to wear it for 2-3 months.
It's so weird saying 2-3 months when he isn't even 4 months old! He'll be wearing a DOC band until he is 7 months old (give or take) and that will be about half his life. But for his future well-being, my husband and I will be going ahead with this, regardless of what our insurance does or does not cover.
Apparently babies with untreated brachycephaly have increased risk for ear infections, TMJ and often do not fit into bicycle helmets (or football helmets). It's very difficult to reposition a baby with this type of plagiocephaly and, thus, banding is very often recommended. Add to the mix Little Man's Torticollis... well, it's a long road ahead of us.
So in the coming weeks, I'll probably blog a lot about the process of getting a helmet and my financial woes as a result. But I'm doing what's best for my son and his future head shape. I hope he won't be too irritated by the helmet once he gets it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I'm a mom, but...
I'm also a woman. And being a mom isn't the only thing that defines me. Though it IS something I've yearned to be for years and I am so grateful to be Little Man's mother.
I was a daughter and granddaughter before I was a woman or wife (or mom) and my family is still very influential in my life.
My maternal grandmother, who I call Momma (pronounced mum-ma), is in the hospital. She had breast cancer last Spring and the probability that it's returned is high. Yet her symptoms (high calcium levels) aren't easily diagnosed to a cause. No matter what is causing the increase, she is still weak and is hospitalized. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be with us. I want her around, but I don't want her to suffer. My grandfather died from lung cancer two years ago and he wasted away. Momma would not want that for herself.
Momma has always been a polarizing figure in my life. I'm not sure mere words can explain her impact on my family. My mom and aunt have been shaped by her in very different ways. It's interesting. My mom did whatever my grandmother told her. Momma is like a force of nature. And she will walk up to complete strangers and ask them their life story—and share much of hers. My cousins used to be embarrassed by that, but I just found it amusing.
Momma always says to me "you tell it like it is." I got that from her.
Mind you she's a piece of work at times. But mostly I think of her as a "grande dame" of yesteryears. She dresses in pumps and skirts (NEVER pants) and her pearls. Yet she'll wear a robe around the house. It's odd. And she'll tell you things "for your own good". Like if you have a pimple. Or if your gray roots need covering. But she "means well."
Yet she truly does. She's helped me financially and she really cares for her family.
I don't know how long my grandmother will be around, but I'm glad she got to see me become a mom and be a great-grandmother of 3 (including my cousin's 2 children). Hopefully she'll see more of Little Man's milestones. You never know.
I was a daughter and granddaughter before I was a woman or wife (or mom) and my family is still very influential in my life.
My maternal grandmother, who I call Momma (pronounced mum-ma), is in the hospital. She had breast cancer last Spring and the probability that it's returned is high. Yet her symptoms (high calcium levels) aren't easily diagnosed to a cause. No matter what is causing the increase, she is still weak and is hospitalized. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be with us. I want her around, but I don't want her to suffer. My grandfather died from lung cancer two years ago and he wasted away. Momma would not want that for herself.
Momma has always been a polarizing figure in my life. I'm not sure mere words can explain her impact on my family. My mom and aunt have been shaped by her in very different ways. It's interesting. My mom did whatever my grandmother told her. Momma is like a force of nature. And she will walk up to complete strangers and ask them their life story—and share much of hers. My cousins used to be embarrassed by that, but I just found it amusing.
Momma always says to me "you tell it like it is." I got that from her.
Mind you she's a piece of work at times. But mostly I think of her as a "grande dame" of yesteryears. She dresses in pumps and skirts (NEVER pants) and her pearls. Yet she'll wear a robe around the house. It's odd. And she'll tell you things "for your own good". Like if you have a pimple. Or if your gray roots need covering. But she "means well."
Yet she truly does. She's helped me financially and she really cares for her family.
I don't know how long my grandmother will be around, but I'm glad she got to see me become a mom and be a great-grandmother of 3 (including my cousin's 2 children). Hopefully she'll see more of Little Man's milestones. You never know.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Visit to the Pediatric Urologist
Little Man was born with a hydrocele, which is a fluid-filled sack along the spermatic cord within the scrotum. Apparently this is pretty common in newborn male infants.
From Google Health: During normal development, the testicles descend down a tube from the abdomen into the scrotum. Hydroceles result when this tube fails to close. Fluid drains from the abdomen through the open tube. The fluid builds up in the scrotum, where it becomes trapped. This causes the scrotum to become swollen.
During a physical exam, the doctor usually finds an swollen scrotum that is not tender. Often, the testicle cannot be felt because of the surrounding fluid. The size of the fluid-filled sack can sometimes be increased and decreased by pressure to the abdomen or the scrotum.
If the size of the fluid collection varies, it is more likely to be associated with an inguinal hernia.
My son's pediatrician sent him for an ultrasound, to verify the diagnosis of a hydrocele and to be sure that he had his right testicle, since it could not be felt during a physical exam. And while I was told that most hydroceles go away on their own by the time a baby is six months old, I wanted a pediatric urologist to see him.
I took Little Man to one of the best ones in the country. And I really liked this doctor. When he walked into the exam room, he looked at my son and said: "So, this is the the young man with big balls?"
My type of doctor. The only negative, I've had AC/DC's "Big Balls" song in my head ever since!
He checked him and also confirmed the hydrocele diagnosis—no hernia—and wants to see him again at 6 months if it doesn't go away. I'm to call immediately if the swelling increases. If it's not gone by his 1st birthday, he'll need surgery. But I'm hoping he won't need that.
The $30 copay was for my peace of mind. I'm glad I went... and now to play some AC/DC.
AC/DC
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (1981)
Big Balls
I'm ever upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all
CHORUS:
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire
CHORUS
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
CHORUS
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
From Google Health: During normal development, the testicles descend down a tube from the abdomen into the scrotum. Hydroceles result when this tube fails to close. Fluid drains from the abdomen through the open tube. The fluid builds up in the scrotum, where it becomes trapped. This causes the scrotum to become swollen.
During a physical exam, the doctor usually finds an swollen scrotum that is not tender. Often, the testicle cannot be felt because of the surrounding fluid. The size of the fluid-filled sack can sometimes be increased and decreased by pressure to the abdomen or the scrotum.
If the size of the fluid collection varies, it is more likely to be associated with an inguinal hernia.
My son's pediatrician sent him for an ultrasound, to verify the diagnosis of a hydrocele and to be sure that he had his right testicle, since it could not be felt during a physical exam. And while I was told that most hydroceles go away on their own by the time a baby is six months old, I wanted a pediatric urologist to see him.
I took Little Man to one of the best ones in the country. And I really liked this doctor. When he walked into the exam room, he looked at my son and said: "So, this is the the young man with big balls?"
My type of doctor. The only negative, I've had AC/DC's "Big Balls" song in my head ever since!
He checked him and also confirmed the hydrocele diagnosis—no hernia—and wants to see him again at 6 months if it doesn't go away. I'm to call immediately if the swelling increases. If it's not gone by his 1st birthday, he'll need surgery. But I'm hoping he won't need that.
The $30 copay was for my peace of mind. I'm glad I went... and now to play some AC/DC.
AC/DC
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (1981)
Big Balls
I'm ever upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all
CHORUS:
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire
CHORUS
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
CHORUS
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
Friday, November 27, 2009
First Thanksgiving
I think it went pretty well. Little Man napped twice in his Baby K'tan carrier and when he was awake he was pretty much all smiles and coos. And he was absolutely mesmerized by my sister-in-law's ceiling fan. I think he could have stared at it for hours. Too bad we don't have one in our apartment. And I'm pretty sure talking our landlady into getting one—just to keep our baby occupied—is not an option.
I'm glad that Dude has a large family. His sister has two boys (ages 6 and 4) and lives only 6 miles away from us. His brother has a boy and three girls (boy: 6, girls: 4, 2 and 2 months), the youngest only 5 weeks younger than Little Man. So, hopefully, he'll have a good relationship with his cousins. It would be nice, considering Little Man will be the only cousin without a sibling. That being said, I don't have any real relationship with any of my five cousins. I get along with them OK, the rare instances that I see them, but I wouldn't say we're friends.
Part of that could be due to the fact that I'm several years older than my cousins. I'm 4 years older than my male cousin, and 6 years older than my eldest female cousin. Maybe the chasm once brought on by age is too wide? Though I find that somewhat silly now. I'm 39 and my one cousin is 33. When we were 9 and 3 it was a HUGE age difference. But now? Not so much. Alas, there were other issues that I won't go into and I think MY familial relationships will only be cursory.
So I truly hope that Little Man will be close with his cousins. I hope that my SIL's boys will tolerate him tagging along (since Dude is really close with Big Sis and we spend a lot of time togehter) and that when they're older, the age difference won't matter so much. If not... I hope Little Man is the type of person to make lasting friendships. I've made a few, though it took me until my 20s to do so.
I have great memories of Thanksgiving from my childhood. I'd organize plays (of the first Thanksgiving, though we were all Pilgrims and my Standard Poodle was the Indian) and we'd sing and entertain our parents. All orchestrated by me—the oldest and the ringleader. Little Man's cousins don't seem to do that (well one does) and they're more rambunctious. But I hope that he creates good memories too. And next year he'll be able to eat turkey!
I'm glad that Dude has a large family. His sister has two boys (ages 6 and 4) and lives only 6 miles away from us. His brother has a boy and three girls (boy: 6, girls: 4, 2 and 2 months), the youngest only 5 weeks younger than Little Man. So, hopefully, he'll have a good relationship with his cousins. It would be nice, considering Little Man will be the only cousin without a sibling. That being said, I don't have any real relationship with any of my five cousins. I get along with them OK, the rare instances that I see them, but I wouldn't say we're friends.
Part of that could be due to the fact that I'm several years older than my cousins. I'm 4 years older than my male cousin, and 6 years older than my eldest female cousin. Maybe the chasm once brought on by age is too wide? Though I find that somewhat silly now. I'm 39 and my one cousin is 33. When we were 9 and 3 it was a HUGE age difference. But now? Not so much. Alas, there were other issues that I won't go into and I think MY familial relationships will only be cursory.
So I truly hope that Little Man will be close with his cousins. I hope that my SIL's boys will tolerate him tagging along (since Dude is really close with Big Sis and we spend a lot of time togehter) and that when they're older, the age difference won't matter so much. If not... I hope Little Man is the type of person to make lasting friendships. I've made a few, though it took me until my 20s to do so.
I have great memories of Thanksgiving from my childhood. I'd organize plays (of the first Thanksgiving, though we were all Pilgrims and my Standard Poodle was the Indian) and we'd sing and entertain our parents. All orchestrated by me—the oldest and the ringleader. Little Man's cousins don't seem to do that (well one does) and they're more rambunctious. But I hope that he creates good memories too. And next year he'll be able to eat turkey!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Not So Little!
Little Man went for his 3 month well baby visit on Tuesday—and he's not so little! While I wasn't shocked, I was still in awe of his weight: 16 lb! He's the weight of a six-month-old! And he was in the 90th to 95th percentile for weight. However, his length was only 23.5 inches, which is the 25th to 50th percentile for height.
I'll say it again: I hope he grows into his feet, which are large.
My husband is 6'2" and slim. I'm hoping Little Man takes after his daddy in that respect. I'm 5'4" and average. That's going on pre-pregnancy weight. As of now, I'm carrying about 15 extra pounds. No. Scratch that. I'm carrying around 31 extra pounds—16 of them is my son!!!
But otherwise Little Man is healthy. The first week of December we're going to see a pediatric urologist for his Hydrocele and are going to Cranial Technologies to get a free assessment to determine if he needs a helmet or not for his (my guess) Brachycephaly with Plagiocephaly. I think his condition is somewhere between mild and moderate and want him to get a helmet if he needs one. It's not at all apparent from front-on photos. But if you see the back of Little Man's head, it's pretty flat.
So that's the most recent update. Sorry I've been MIA since last week, I had to send my MacBook Pro to the Apple Store to get a new optical drive. They always seem to die on me... and I don't even burn discs too often!
I'll say it again: I hope he grows into his feet, which are large.
My husband is 6'2" and slim. I'm hoping Little Man takes after his daddy in that respect. I'm 5'4" and average. That's going on pre-pregnancy weight. As of now, I'm carrying about 15 extra pounds. No. Scratch that. I'm carrying around 31 extra pounds—16 of them is my son!!!
But otherwise Little Man is healthy. The first week of December we're going to see a pediatric urologist for his Hydrocele and are going to Cranial Technologies to get a free assessment to determine if he needs a helmet or not for his (my guess) Brachycephaly with Plagiocephaly. I think his condition is somewhere between mild and moderate and want him to get a helmet if he needs one. It's not at all apparent from front-on photos. But if you see the back of Little Man's head, it's pretty flat.
So that's the most recent update. Sorry I've been MIA since last week, I had to send my MacBook Pro to the Apple Store to get a new optical drive. They always seem to die on me... and I don't even burn discs too often!
Friday, November 13, 2009
13 Weeks Old on Friday the 13th
That just amuses me somehow. And to mark a milestone—Little Man turns 3 months old tomorrow—I'm going to post my birth story that I wrote on my old blog. I wrote this in the hospital when my son was 1 day old.
Our son was born on Friday August 14th at 2:31 PM. We are completely in love.
Here's how it all happened:
On Thursday night I checked in at the hospital at 8 PM for my induction. I was there for a few hours, dealing with paperwork and getting settled (blood draws, pick line, etc.) before the nurse inserted the Cervidil. In case you don't know, Cervidil is something like a suppository that makes the cervix thin out and become receptive for labor. That was an overnight deal, so I was also given an Ambien so I could sleep. I honestly didn't get much sleep—kept waking up to pee—but I did a little.
Then it was Friday morning around 7 AM. The nurse checked my cervix and while it hadn't dilated past the 1 cm I was the night before (and at my prior office visits), I was 100% effaced and the baby was at -1 station.
The OB on call (and one I really like) came by at 8 or 8:30 AM and checked me, and started me on the lowest dose of Pitocin (oxytocin, to cause contractions) possible. She also broke my water—that was weird! I was doing OK through them until around 10 AM, when they were beginning to make me nauseous. I was checked and was dilated to 3 and I got my epidural. It was AWESOME! And I progressed quickly after that. I rested, half-slept, and my husband played around on my laptop. When I was next checked—close to noon?—I was dilated to 7 CM!
My husband called my mom (and his mom) to let them know it was moving MUCH faster than we thought. It ended up moving even faster when, at 12:45 PM I was fully dilated to 10 cm and felt urges to push (even with the epidural, but it wasn't too painful). Hubby called the parents again and said COME NOW!!! Then the doctor came in, the nurse had me "practice push" for about an hour. My OB had another induction patient was also close but I apparently won the "race" and was to deliver first.
About 2 PM or so, I was READY. Honestly, I only pushed for about a half hour with brief breaks of Oxygen (baby's heartrate dipped a bit, as did mine, but we both perked up with the oxygen mask). It was tough, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in at a few times, but overall not too terrible. Little Man was born at 2:31 PM to comments from my OB of "Whoa that's a HUGE head" and "That's a BIG baby!!!"
He weighed 9 lb even and was 20.5 inches long.
The one BAD part of it all... he was so big that he didn't quite fit and I tore VERY badly. Basically as bad as one CAN tear. I have 4th degree tears to my perineum and rectum. My OB basically had to completely repair my anus. It's pretty painful and will be a tough recovery. I'm on major stool softeners and pain meds. I hope that I won't have any complications from this. But the doctors and nurses are all, apparently, amazed by my pain tolerance and my attitude and how such a "small person" (thanks for saying I'm small, at 5'4") had such a LARGE baby.
I guess that explains the 40 lbs I gained! Nine of it was baby, and about nine or so was blood volume, amniotic fluid, uterus, placenta, etc. I'm not weighing myself for a while—I don't need to know—and I can't exercise or do any heavy lifting for six weeks. So I'm just going to take it easy and get well. And learn to breastfeed. My son and I are learning together but we'll get there. [Note: We didn't... I gave up when he was 3 days old. Oh well...]
So there you go... he's here. Little Man. We feel so blessed to have him.
Our son was born on Friday August 14th at 2:31 PM. We are completely in love.
Here's how it all happened:
On Thursday night I checked in at the hospital at 8 PM for my induction. I was there for a few hours, dealing with paperwork and getting settled (blood draws, pick line, etc.) before the nurse inserted the Cervidil. In case you don't know, Cervidil is something like a suppository that makes the cervix thin out and become receptive for labor. That was an overnight deal, so I was also given an Ambien so I could sleep. I honestly didn't get much sleep—kept waking up to pee—but I did a little.
Then it was Friday morning around 7 AM. The nurse checked my cervix and while it hadn't dilated past the 1 cm I was the night before (and at my prior office visits), I was 100% effaced and the baby was at -1 station.
The OB on call (and one I really like) came by at 8 or 8:30 AM and checked me, and started me on the lowest dose of Pitocin (oxytocin, to cause contractions) possible. She also broke my water—that was weird! I was doing OK through them until around 10 AM, when they were beginning to make me nauseous. I was checked and was dilated to 3 and I got my epidural. It was AWESOME! And I progressed quickly after that. I rested, half-slept, and my husband played around on my laptop. When I was next checked—close to noon?—I was dilated to 7 CM!
My husband called my mom (and his mom) to let them know it was moving MUCH faster than we thought. It ended up moving even faster when, at 12:45 PM I was fully dilated to 10 cm and felt urges to push (even with the epidural, but it wasn't too painful). Hubby called the parents again and said COME NOW!!! Then the doctor came in, the nurse had me "practice push" for about an hour. My OB had another induction patient was also close but I apparently won the "race" and was to deliver first.
About 2 PM or so, I was READY. Honestly, I only pushed for about a half hour with brief breaks of Oxygen (baby's heartrate dipped a bit, as did mine, but we both perked up with the oxygen mask). It was tough, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in at a few times, but overall not too terrible. Little Man was born at 2:31 PM to comments from my OB of "Whoa that's a HUGE head" and "That's a BIG baby!!!"
He weighed 9 lb even and was 20.5 inches long.
The one BAD part of it all... he was so big that he didn't quite fit and I tore VERY badly. Basically as bad as one CAN tear. I have 4th degree tears to my perineum and rectum. My OB basically had to completely repair my anus. It's pretty painful and will be a tough recovery. I'm on major stool softeners and pain meds. I hope that I won't have any complications from this. But the doctors and nurses are all, apparently, amazed by my pain tolerance and my attitude and how such a "small person" (thanks for saying I'm small, at 5'4") had such a LARGE baby.
I guess that explains the 40 lbs I gained! Nine of it was baby, and about nine or so was blood volume, amniotic fluid, uterus, placenta, etc. I'm not weighing myself for a while—I don't need to know—and I can't exercise or do any heavy lifting for six weeks. So I'm just going to take it easy and get well. And learn to breastfeed. My son and I are learning together but we'll get there. [Note: We didn't... I gave up when he was 3 days old. Oh well...]
So there you go... he's here. Little Man. We feel so blessed to have him.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Instinct
Instinct tells me that a) Little Man will need surgery on his scrotum for his Hydrocele and b) he'll likely need a DOC Band (helmet) for his positional plagiocephaly. I don't know why, but that's what my gut is telling me.
If he does need a helmet, I don't think our insurance will cover it. Though the place I'm taking Little Man for an assessment told me that they DO fight for patients' and often they will cover at least some of the cost. I'm hoping that, since Little Man also has a diagnosis of Torticollis, that UHC will cover something.
If not... well, I'd rather get us further in debt than NOT correct something that is correctable due to my son's young age (13 weeks tomorrow).
So I'm taking him to see a urologist and to Cranial Technologies for a free assessment in early December. He'll be close to 4 months old by then, but I'm told babies under 6 months show the best results. I'd go sooner, but Dude wants to go with me and he won't have a free day before then. But I don't feel that it's too much of a wait.
If he does need a helmet, I don't think our insurance will cover it. Though the place I'm taking Little Man for an assessment told me that they DO fight for patients' and often they will cover at least some of the cost. I'm hoping that, since Little Man also has a diagnosis of Torticollis, that UHC will cover something.
If not... well, I'd rather get us further in debt than NOT correct something that is correctable due to my son's young age (13 weeks tomorrow).
So I'm taking him to see a urologist and to Cranial Technologies for a free assessment in early December. He'll be close to 4 months old by then, but I'm told babies under 6 months show the best results. I'd go sooner, but Dude wants to go with me and he won't have a free day before then. But I don't feel that it's too much of a wait.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Little Man Napped in the Crib
For two hours this afternoon/evening. I can hardly believe it!
I tried to nap myself, but was unable to fall asleep. I hate when that happens—and it happens quite often. I think if I were able to fall asleep easier, I'd be more rested since Little Man does sleep in 4-5 hour stretches at night.
Now I just don't know if I should wake him up to feed him so he'll sleep tonight or if I should let him sleep so when Dude gets home from work we can eat our dinner in peace.
I'll probably let him sleep even if it means I'll be up all night (and with work tomorrow that will SUCK) because I'd like to eat dinner with both my hands. But figuring this stuff out is not easy. On my last post, Debbie said we analyze ourselves away from what is instinctive. My instincts say: Let Little Man sleep. So I will.
I tried to nap myself, but was unable to fall asleep. I hate when that happens—and it happens quite often. I think if I were able to fall asleep easier, I'd be more rested since Little Man does sleep in 4-5 hour stretches at night.
Now I just don't know if I should wake him up to feed him so he'll sleep tonight or if I should let him sleep so when Dude gets home from work we can eat our dinner in peace.
I'll probably let him sleep even if it means I'll be up all night (and with work tomorrow that will SUCK) because I'd like to eat dinner with both my hands. But figuring this stuff out is not easy. On my last post, Debbie said we analyze ourselves away from what is instinctive. My instincts say: Let Little Man sleep. So I will.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Getting Your Baby to Sleep
At this point in time, Little Man seems to sleep best when I "wear" him in my Baby K'Tan sling. He'll sleep in his crib at night, too. But both times he only falls asleep if I'm holding him (or if Dude is). I want him to be able to fall asleep without one of his parents holding him but he doesn't seem able to.
I'm not sure if it's because he's too young (at 2-1/2 months) or if we've set into motion bad sleep habits. I've read online that you can't spoil a baby before they're six months old. I've also heard that, up to 3 months, a baby is in the "4th trimester" and needs to be held a LOT. I'm going to have to ask about sleep (and feeding) habits at Little Man's next well baby visit.
I probably should have bought more baby books with suggestions on how to get your child to sleep. I got The Happiest Baby on the Block and never finished reading it! I think it's probably too late to implement the techniques given in the book by now. And I'm almost at the point to start de-swaddling my son since he's beginning to be able to REALLY kick himself free.
Of course with his Torticollis and Plagiocephaly issues, I want him OFF his back as much as possible. So I'm less worried about him being in the sling or sleeping on my chest. I'm so worried about adding more pressure to his flat spot and him needing to wear a helmet. Less so for the looks we'll get but more for the cost of the helmet (if needed). I'm told most health insurance companies won't pay for it (feels it's for cosmetic reasons) and finding $3000 to pay for it will NOT be easy.
Of course I'm jumping ahead of myself. I was writing about SLEEP today.
I wish Little Man would sleep through the night. I want to get about 5-6 hours myself!
But he wakes up at least once, sometimes twice, a night and he's REALLY hungry. So I give him a bottle and he chugs it down and goes back to sleep for a few more hours.
I really need to ask about this. I have SO many questions for my pediatrician and I feel like I can barely get them in.
But, for now, he's sound asleep in his sling and that's a good thing.
I'm not sure if it's because he's too young (at 2-1/2 months) or if we've set into motion bad sleep habits. I've read online that you can't spoil a baby before they're six months old. I've also heard that, up to 3 months, a baby is in the "4th trimester" and needs to be held a LOT. I'm going to have to ask about sleep (and feeding) habits at Little Man's next well baby visit.
I probably should have bought more baby books with suggestions on how to get your child to sleep. I got The Happiest Baby on the Block and never finished reading it! I think it's probably too late to implement the techniques given in the book by now. And I'm almost at the point to start de-swaddling my son since he's beginning to be able to REALLY kick himself free.
Of course with his Torticollis and Plagiocephaly issues, I want him OFF his back as much as possible. So I'm less worried about him being in the sling or sleeping on my chest. I'm so worried about adding more pressure to his flat spot and him needing to wear a helmet. Less so for the looks we'll get but more for the cost of the helmet (if needed). I'm told most health insurance companies won't pay for it (feels it's for cosmetic reasons) and finding $3000 to pay for it will NOT be easy.
Of course I'm jumping ahead of myself. I was writing about SLEEP today.
I wish Little Man would sleep through the night. I want to get about 5-6 hours myself!
But he wakes up at least once, sometimes twice, a night and he's REALLY hungry. So I give him a bottle and he chugs it down and goes back to sleep for a few more hours.
I really need to ask about this. I have SO many questions for my pediatrician and I feel like I can barely get them in.
But, for now, he's sound asleep in his sling and that's a good thing.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Working with Baby
I work for my family's business so my parents, who are my bosses, are allowing me to bring Little Man to work with me. Due to the poor economy, I'm woefully underpaid and cannot afford the high costs of daycare. So this arrangement is they way I'm going. But I have to say it's not easy.
I'm glad I have my son with me and that he's not being cared for by strangers—no matter how qualified and caring they may be. However, it's really hard to be productive while caring for an infant. As I type this blog, Little Man is sleeping in his Baby K'Tan sling and I'm getting work done (with this brief break, of course). I have a Pack-n-Play in my office and a play mat. I've ordered a travel swing and my cousin lent me her son's bouncy seat (he's 14 months old now and way too big for it) and her exersaucer for when Little Man is old enough.
But I worry that I won't find a balance between getting my work done and giving my son the attention he needs and deserves.
Is this the best way? Probably not... but for now it's the only way. And my parents don't want to see us tossed in the streets without my income paying for a huge chunk of our monthly expenses, so I'm "making this work" (in the words of Tim Gunn) and hoping it all works out.
I'm glad I have my son with me and that he's not being cared for by strangers—no matter how qualified and caring they may be. However, it's really hard to be productive while caring for an infant. As I type this blog, Little Man is sleeping in his Baby K'Tan sling and I'm getting work done (with this brief break, of course). I have a Pack-n-Play in my office and a play mat. I've ordered a travel swing and my cousin lent me her son's bouncy seat (he's 14 months old now and way too big for it) and her exersaucer for when Little Man is old enough.
But I worry that I won't find a balance between getting my work done and giving my son the attention he needs and deserves.
Is this the best way? Probably not... but for now it's the only way. And my parents don't want to see us tossed in the streets without my income paying for a huge chunk of our monthly expenses, so I'm "making this work" (in the words of Tim Gunn) and hoping it all works out.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Taking a Baby to Physical Therapy
You get a look of sad looks from the other patients. Nobody wants to see a little baby needing physical therapy. Yet Little Man is so cheerful (as long as he's fed) and alert that one would never know there was a problem. That is unless they looked at his photos and noticed that his head was tilted to the right in each one of them. The Torticollis is obvious to me NOW, but I never noticed a thing before my son's two month pediatrician visit.
Little Man's physical therapist, Mary, said to me that she doesn't usually get the babies with Torticollis at two months and the fact that I'm bringing him now bodes well for his response to the therapy. It's basically stretches—some that I have to do at every diaper change, which is not easy but I'm committed to my son's health—and muscle massage and manipulation. He also needs a LOT more tummy time, but he still isn't a "fan" of it.
The therapy to stretch and strengthen his neck muscle will also help with his flat head. And Mary said that even though the flat spot looks awful to me, it's not the worst she's seen that has corrected itself. So she feels pretty confident that Little Man's flat head will correct itself and that he should not need a helmet. Her analogy was that of a water balloon. She said that if you lay one down, it will flatten on the spot that's on the ground. But if you turn it, it pops back out. So I hope that Little Man's head "pops back out".
We're going to PT twice a week for the first few weeks. Last week was week one and we're going next week, too. Then Mary is on vacation for a week. The Monday before he goes back, November 9th, he finally will go for his ultrasounds. I hope that his hip is fine and that I'll get good news re: his Hydrocele. But somehow I have a feeling Little Man will need to see a pediatric urologist to take care of the latter. The swelling hasn't gone down in two months and I don't see another few months making much of a difference.
All of this weighs on me. When you have a baby, you want him or her to be perfect. You pray for health and you want your child to survive. I had a crisis the first few days after Dude and I brought Little Man home from the hospital. I wanted to breastfeed but found it too frustrating to continue (and Little Man was Jaundiced and dehydrated, so I quickly moved to formula) and felt horrible guilt about giving up without truly trying. Dude says that if I HAD breastfed, I would have been a wreck due to how much Little Man eats and he says that I shouldn't feel guilty. I don't anymore, but I did for a while. And I guess I'm feeling somewhat the same way about the Torticollis and flat head (not sure what "type" he has). I need to get past that, but I haven't yet.
Though I AM grateful that Little Man's health issues are treatable and, relatively, minor. I hear stories of babies with heart problems. Premature babies who are in NICUs for months and months. Children with Cerebral Palsy or other health issues. And what we're dealing with, in the grand scheme of things, is just a glitch. But it weighs on me—and not the finances, though it IS a struggle—and I do wish that this hadn't happened.
Little Man's physical therapist, Mary, said to me that she doesn't usually get the babies with Torticollis at two months and the fact that I'm bringing him now bodes well for his response to the therapy. It's basically stretches—some that I have to do at every diaper change, which is not easy but I'm committed to my son's health—and muscle massage and manipulation. He also needs a LOT more tummy time, but he still isn't a "fan" of it.
The therapy to stretch and strengthen his neck muscle will also help with his flat head. And Mary said that even though the flat spot looks awful to me, it's not the worst she's seen that has corrected itself. So she feels pretty confident that Little Man's flat head will correct itself and that he should not need a helmet. Her analogy was that of a water balloon. She said that if you lay one down, it will flatten on the spot that's on the ground. But if you turn it, it pops back out. So I hope that Little Man's head "pops back out".
We're going to PT twice a week for the first few weeks. Last week was week one and we're going next week, too. Then Mary is on vacation for a week. The Monday before he goes back, November 9th, he finally will go for his ultrasounds. I hope that his hip is fine and that I'll get good news re: his Hydrocele. But somehow I have a feeling Little Man will need to see a pediatric urologist to take care of the latter. The swelling hasn't gone down in two months and I don't see another few months making much of a difference.
All of this weighs on me. When you have a baby, you want him or her to be perfect. You pray for health and you want your child to survive. I had a crisis the first few days after Dude and I brought Little Man home from the hospital. I wanted to breastfeed but found it too frustrating to continue (and Little Man was Jaundiced and dehydrated, so I quickly moved to formula) and felt horrible guilt about giving up without truly trying. Dude says that if I HAD breastfed, I would have been a wreck due to how much Little Man eats and he says that I shouldn't feel guilty. I don't anymore, but I did for a while. And I guess I'm feeling somewhat the same way about the Torticollis and flat head (not sure what "type" he has). I need to get past that, but I haven't yet.
Though I AM grateful that Little Man's health issues are treatable and, relatively, minor. I hear stories of babies with heart problems. Premature babies who are in NICUs for months and months. Children with Cerebral Palsy or other health issues. And what we're dealing with, in the grand scheme of things, is just a glitch. But it weighs on me—and not the finances, though it IS a struggle—and I do wish that this hadn't happened.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Torticollis Diagnosis
This blog post is pretty much a copy and paste job from my former blog that I wrote on October 16th, two days after Little Man's two month well baby visit to the pediatrician. It's quite relevant to this blog as it deals with mommyhood and the ups and downs of one's child's health. That's all anyone can hope for—health. And I have to say that even though I had a very emotional day then, I am so grateful that my son is healthy and his issues are treatable.
This is what I wrote:
Little Man is two months old. He went for his well baby visit at the pediatrician on Wednesday afternoon and while overall he's very healthy and doing very well for his age, there was some "not-so-good" news.
First with the good stuff. He's healthy. He's thriving.
At birth he weighed 9 lb and was 20.5 inches long.
Now he's 13 lb 8 oz and 23 inches long.
That's 90th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I asked if I should be concerned about the disparity (ie. weight) and was told at this age it's not an issue. He's not overly chubby, so I guess he's just SOLID. My coworker calls him "Bruiser" and I often do, too. He's just a strong baby.
He's meeting milestones. He smiles, he laughs, he's a happy baby, really. And he only cries when hungry, wet/messy diaper and when wants to be held. All normal and to be expected for two months.
But there was some "not-so-good" news, too. I'll start with the most minor one.
Little Man has an umbilical hernia, which apparently is very common in babies and most times close up by the time they turn one. I was told not to be concerned about this.
Next is the Hydrocele he was born with. It hasn't gotten smaller since he was around two weeks old and the pediatrician wants Little Man to have a testicular ultrasound to make sure it IS a Hydrocele and not a hernia and also to make sure all is OK. If this doesn't recede on its own, he'll need to see a Pediatric Urologist and could possibly need surgery. I've known about this issue since his birth.
Fine. But I'm having problems finding a facility that's IN-NETWORK for my insurance that does this on babies. If I go in-network, it's covered at 100%. Otherwise we pay out of pocket since we have a $5000 family deductible. So I'm doing some research and trying to find a place to get this done. I do know of a Pediatric Urologist, however, if he does need to see one.
Lastly are two related issues. My son has a something called Torticollis (a condition in which a tight or shortened muscle on one side of the neck causes the head to tilt to one side) and also positional plagiocephaly, or flat head, which is due to babies spending so much time on their backs. It's also most common in infants who have Torticollis.
Since a small percent of babies born with torticollis will also have other problems such as hip dislocation, Little Man is also getting a hip ultrasound at the same time he's having the testicular one.
Basically Little Man needs physical therapy to correct the Torticollis. And hopefully the PT will strengthen his neck muscles and that, along with MUCH more tummy time, will correct the flat head. I'm praying for that... I don't want him to need to wear a helmet or, worse, have a permanently misshapen head! But my pediatrician said we caught both conditions early enough and I hope she's right.
I'd been having terrible guilt about the flat head until I read that it's related to the Torticollis, which I had no control over. But I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I literally SOBBED in the shower. Part of it was due to my son's issues and the rest was due to lack of sleep—as he also got his shots and did NOT sleep on Wednesday night (thus nor did I).
Motherhood is SO hard. And while I knew it would be, the reality is somewhat overwhelming. And I often get comments like "get used to it" re: the lack of sleep. But I'm sorry, I don't function well on the limited sleep and it's taking its toll.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely adore my little boy and am so grateful he's here and—despite his "not-so-good" issues—is healthy.
This is what I wrote:
Little Man is two months old. He went for his well baby visit at the pediatrician on Wednesday afternoon and while overall he's very healthy and doing very well for his age, there was some "not-so-good" news.
First with the good stuff. He's healthy. He's thriving.
At birth he weighed 9 lb and was 20.5 inches long.
Now he's 13 lb 8 oz and 23 inches long.
That's 90th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I asked if I should be concerned about the disparity (ie. weight) and was told at this age it's not an issue. He's not overly chubby, so I guess he's just SOLID. My coworker calls him "Bruiser" and I often do, too. He's just a strong baby.
He's meeting milestones. He smiles, he laughs, he's a happy baby, really. And he only cries when hungry, wet/messy diaper and when wants to be held. All normal and to be expected for two months.
But there was some "not-so-good" news, too. I'll start with the most minor one.
Little Man has an umbilical hernia, which apparently is very common in babies and most times close up by the time they turn one. I was told not to be concerned about this.
Next is the Hydrocele he was born with. It hasn't gotten smaller since he was around two weeks old and the pediatrician wants Little Man to have a testicular ultrasound to make sure it IS a Hydrocele and not a hernia and also to make sure all is OK. If this doesn't recede on its own, he'll need to see a Pediatric Urologist and could possibly need surgery. I've known about this issue since his birth.
Fine. But I'm having problems finding a facility that's IN-NETWORK for my insurance that does this on babies. If I go in-network, it's covered at 100%. Otherwise we pay out of pocket since we have a $5000 family deductible. So I'm doing some research and trying to find a place to get this done. I do know of a Pediatric Urologist, however, if he does need to see one.
Lastly are two related issues. My son has a something called Torticollis (a condition in which a tight or shortened muscle on one side of the neck causes the head to tilt to one side) and also positional plagiocephaly, or flat head, which is due to babies spending so much time on their backs. It's also most common in infants who have Torticollis.
Since a small percent of babies born with torticollis will also have other problems such as hip dislocation, Little Man is also getting a hip ultrasound at the same time he's having the testicular one.
Basically Little Man needs physical therapy to correct the Torticollis. And hopefully the PT will strengthen his neck muscles and that, along with MUCH more tummy time, will correct the flat head. I'm praying for that... I don't want him to need to wear a helmet or, worse, have a permanently misshapen head! But my pediatrician said we caught both conditions early enough and I hope she's right.
I'd been having terrible guilt about the flat head until I read that it's related to the Torticollis, which I had no control over. But I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I literally SOBBED in the shower. Part of it was due to my son's issues and the rest was due to lack of sleep—as he also got his shots and did NOT sleep on Wednesday night (thus nor did I).
Motherhood is SO hard. And while I knew it would be, the reality is somewhat overwhelming. And I often get comments like "get used to it" re: the lack of sleep. But I'm sorry, I don't function well on the limited sleep and it's taking its toll.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely adore my little boy and am so grateful he's here and—despite his "not-so-good" issues—is healthy.
Little Man Slept Through the Night
But not for me! My aunt stayed over last night to allow me to sleep and he slept through the night!
I'm thrilled that he did but am so jealous it wasn't for me.
I hope this begins happening more and more frequently so I feel more rested and am better able to function at work.
I actually work for my family's business. We're wholesalers and have an office attached to a warehouse. And since my bosses are my mom and dad, I'm able to bring Little Man to work with me. NOT that I'm terribly productive that way. But Dude and I are not that well off and we need both of our salaries to survive. Putting Little Man in day care would allow me to get more work done but all of my salary would be paying for it. So I bring him to work with me and save money that way. But how to keep him occupied and properly stimulated is not easy.
Yet if Little Man keeps sleeping through the night, I will be able to function better and will be able to get more done—even with the darling distraction of my son.
I'm thrilled that he did but am so jealous it wasn't for me.
I hope this begins happening more and more frequently so I feel more rested and am better able to function at work.
I actually work for my family's business. We're wholesalers and have an office attached to a warehouse. And since my bosses are my mom and dad, I'm able to bring Little Man to work with me. NOT that I'm terribly productive that way. But Dude and I are not that well off and we need both of our salaries to survive. Putting Little Man in day care would allow me to get more work done but all of my salary would be paying for it. So I bring him to work with me and save money that way. But how to keep him occupied and properly stimulated is not easy.
Yet if Little Man keeps sleeping through the night, I will be able to function better and will be able to get more done—even with the darling distraction of my son.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Thought of the Day
Do babies, like puppies, grow into their feet?
Something to ponder.
I think about that because Little Man has really big feet. He's not super long (was 23 inches long at his two-month visit) but he's heavy (13lb 8oz at same appt.). I hope he'll be tall like his father, who is 6'2" and thinking he'll grow into his feet gives me hope.
Something to ponder.
I think about that because Little Man has really big feet. He's not super long (was 23 inches long at his two-month visit) but he's heavy (13lb 8oz at same appt.). I hope he'll be tall like his father, who is 6'2" and thinking he'll grow into his feet gives me hope.
Making this Blog Private
I'm planning on making Musings from a romantyk soul private early next week. If you want access, please send me an email. However, I plan to do most of my blogging at my new blog: Mom of One—and Done!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Starting a mommy blog
And not here on Blogger. I wanted to create a blog without any reference to my name and this one is "romantykrobyn". Plus I had a lot of references to my past relationship, my family (with names!) and other info. This blog is not very anonymous.
I may or may not keep this one up. I may post the same entries in both blogs. I'm not sure. But I wanted to share the link of my new blog with you guys (my 10 or so readers).
It's: Mom of One—and Done!
If you comment there, please don't mention my given name. I'm trying to use aliases for myself and my family—with the possible exception of Casey. Thus far he's "Wonder Dog".
Hope to see you there!
I may or may not keep this one up. I may post the same entries in both blogs. I'm not sure. But I wanted to share the link of my new blog with you guys (my 10 or so readers).
It's: Mom of One—and Done!
If you comment there, please don't mention my given name. I'm trying to use aliases for myself and my family—with the possible exception of Casey. Thus far he's "Wonder Dog".
Hope to see you there!
Starting my mom blog!
I've blogged before... on MySpace and on another blog site. But now that I'm a mom, I decided to remain somewhat anonymous—although I plan to provide a link to this blog on my original one so my readers can find me. And unlike my prior blog, which was a basic journal for me to get all my thoughts out, the primary focus of this one will be motherhood and how being a mom affects my marriage, my relationships and my career.
But here's a little background info—a timeline to becoming njsweetmom.
At age 36, I thought I'd never meet "Mr. Right." But I guess fate stepped in and I met Dude (more on his nickname another time). We had an instant connection and our relationship became serious within weeks. We were engaged a little over a year later and married in June of 2008—I was 38 and he was 37. Since we were "older" we decided to start a family right away.
I was convinced that I'd have trouble conceiving. Not sure why... perhaps because of my age? But luckily I found out I was pregnant the day after Thanksgiving in 2008. I had to take 4 pregnancy tests AND made my doctor run a blood test to confirm it. I was that afraid that I was NOT pregnant. But I was and I had a pretty smooth pregnancy.
Little Man was born on August 14, 2009. He was 8 days late and I had to be induced. He's a BIG boy... he was 9 lb at birth! I was all baby and I lost 27 of the 40 lb I'd gained during my pregnancy by one week after giving birth. I still have 15 more pounds to lose to get back to my "wedding weight" but that's another story. Now, at two months, Little Man weighs 13 lb 8 oz (as of last Wednesday, so he's probably more by now) and he's overall a very healthy little boy.
There are some minor medical issues he's dealing with—Torticollis and Positional Plagiocephaly—that I'll blog about later since this is my "first" post and I'd like to keep it pretty general. But Little Man is a happy (and hungry!) baby and I'm so glad to be a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom and finally, at age 39, I am!
However... Little Man will be our only child. I never thought I'd say that. While I somehow knew my first child would be a boy, I always hoped he'd have a little sister. But life throws curve balls. We're not in the best financial shape. We're older (when I was pregnant, I was referred to being "advanced maternal age") and, perhaps, wiser. It's in our best interests as a FAMILY to remain a family of three—plus dog.
We want to be able to live better than day-to-day. We want to be able to pay off our debts; save up to own a home; we want to be able to take family vacations; send our son to college; everything a parent hopes to do for a child. So we've decided that we're done. I'm a mom of one.
I'm sure that will have its challenges in the future. But, for now, I'm like any other first time mom—though perhaps a bit older than many—and am adjusting to taking care of a baby, dog, husband and trying to keep up with my job. Currently I work for my family's business and have a LOT of flexibility. So I'm bringing my son to work with me (dog too, he's been coming for years) and it's been a challenge thus far. Though I only started back this week... maybe it will get better? I guess I'll see.
So this is my new blog. Hopefully mommyhood will allow me to keep it up-to-date!
But here's a little background info—a timeline to becoming njsweetmom.
At age 36, I thought I'd never meet "Mr. Right." But I guess fate stepped in and I met Dude (more on his nickname another time). We had an instant connection and our relationship became serious within weeks. We were engaged a little over a year later and married in June of 2008—I was 38 and he was 37. Since we were "older" we decided to start a family right away.
I was convinced that I'd have trouble conceiving. Not sure why... perhaps because of my age? But luckily I found out I was pregnant the day after Thanksgiving in 2008. I had to take 4 pregnancy tests AND made my doctor run a blood test to confirm it. I was that afraid that I was NOT pregnant. But I was and I had a pretty smooth pregnancy.
Little Man was born on August 14, 2009. He was 8 days late and I had to be induced. He's a BIG boy... he was 9 lb at birth! I was all baby and I lost 27 of the 40 lb I'd gained during my pregnancy by one week after giving birth. I still have 15 more pounds to lose to get back to my "wedding weight" but that's another story. Now, at two months, Little Man weighs 13 lb 8 oz (as of last Wednesday, so he's probably more by now) and he's overall a very healthy little boy.
There are some minor medical issues he's dealing with—Torticollis and Positional Plagiocephaly—that I'll blog about later since this is my "first" post and I'd like to keep it pretty general. But Little Man is a happy (and hungry!) baby and I'm so glad to be a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom and finally, at age 39, I am!
However... Little Man will be our only child. I never thought I'd say that. While I somehow knew my first child would be a boy, I always hoped he'd have a little sister. But life throws curve balls. We're not in the best financial shape. We're older (when I was pregnant, I was referred to being "advanced maternal age") and, perhaps, wiser. It's in our best interests as a FAMILY to remain a family of three—plus dog.
We want to be able to live better than day-to-day. We want to be able to pay off our debts; save up to own a home; we want to be able to take family vacations; send our son to college; everything a parent hopes to do for a child. So we've decided that we're done. I'm a mom of one.
I'm sure that will have its challenges in the future. But, for now, I'm like any other first time mom—though perhaps a bit older than many—and am adjusting to taking care of a baby, dog, husband and trying to keep up with my job. Currently I work for my family's business and have a LOT of flexibility. So I'm bringing my son to work with me (dog too, he's been coming for years) and it's been a challenge thus far. Though I only started back this week... maybe it will get better? I guess I'll see.
So this is my new blog. Hopefully mommyhood will allow me to keep it up-to-date!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Torticollis/Positional Plagiocephaly Update
McBaby had his first physical therapy session yesterday and the therapist (Mary) made me feel much better. She said the flat head (positional plagiocephaly) was relatively mild and that it was caught early enough to likely correct itself without a helmet. And his Torticollis (shortened neck muscle) isn't too bad, either.
Mary says she usually sees Tort babies around 4 months and it's harder to start a regimen and because Little Man is 2 months, we have a good head start. As for the Plagiocephaly... I need to keep putting him on his tummy and moving his position as much as possible.
We go to PT twice a week for the next 3 weeks and then down to once a week—provided that *I* fully understand how to stretch DS and correctly massage the muscle.
He has a 20 visit per year cap... so luckily it resets in January. The estimate for how long we'll go is 4 months.
DS still needs a hip (and testicular for his Hydrocele) ultrasound to make sure they're OK. Babies with Torticollis often have dislocated hips/issues. While external manipulation shows his hips are fine, both the pediatrician and the therapist wants confirmation.
He's going to a Kessler outpatient facility (if you followed Christopher Reeve's story, you'll know he went to rehab at their main location) and I feel pretty good that we have a handle on it.
Mary says she usually sees Tort babies around 4 months and it's harder to start a regimen and because Little Man is 2 months, we have a good head start. As for the Plagiocephaly... I need to keep putting him on his tummy and moving his position as much as possible.
We go to PT twice a week for the next 3 weeks and then down to once a week—provided that *I* fully understand how to stretch DS and correctly massage the muscle.
He has a 20 visit per year cap... so luckily it resets in January. The estimate for how long we'll go is 4 months.
DS still needs a hip (and testicular for his Hydrocele) ultrasound to make sure they're OK. Babies with Torticollis often have dislocated hips/issues. While external manipulation shows his hips are fine, both the pediatrician and the therapist wants confirmation.
He's going to a Kessler outpatient facility (if you followed Christopher Reeve's story, you'll know he went to rehab at their main location) and I feel pretty good that we have a handle on it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Good and The Not-So-Good
As I posted two days ago, McBaby (aka Little Man) is two months old. He went for his well baby visit at the pediatrician on Wednesday afternoon and while overall he's very healthy and doing very well for his age, there was some "not-so-good" news.
First with the good stuff. He's healthy. He's thriving.
At birth he weighed 9 lb and was 20.5 inches long.
Now he's 13 lb 8 oz and 23 inches long.
That's 90th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I asked if I should be concerned about the disparity (ie. weight) and was told at this age it's not an issue. He's not overly chubby, so I guess he's just SOLID. My coworker calls him "Bruiser" and I often do, too. He's just a strong baby.
He's meeting milestones. He smiles, he laughs, he's a happy baby, really. And he only cries when hungry, wet/messy diaper and when wants to be held. All normal and to be expected for two months.
But there was some "not-so-good" news, too. I'll start with the most minor one.
Little Man has an umbilical hernia, which apparently is very common in babies and most times close up by the time they turn 1. I was told not to be concerned about this.
Next is the Hydrocele he was born with. It hasn't gotten smaller since he was around two weeks old and the pediatrician wants Little Man to have a testicular ultrasound to make sure it IS a Hydrocele and not a hernia and also to make sure all is OK. If this doesn't recede on its own, he'll need to see a Pediatric Urologist and could possibly need surgery. I've known about this issue since his birth.
Fine. But I'm having problems finding a facility that's IN-NETWORK for my insurance that does this on babies. If I go in-network, it's covered at 100%. Otherwise we pay out of pocket since we have a $5000 family deductible. So I'm doing some research and trying to find a place to get this done. I do know of a Pediatric Urologist, however, if he does need to see one.
Lastly are two related issues. My son has a something called Torticollis (a condition in which a tight or shortened muscle on one side of the neck causes the head to tilt to one side) and also positional plagiocephaly, or flat head, which is due to babies spending so much time on their backs. It's also most common in infants who have Torticollis.
Since a small percent of babies born with torticollis will also have other problems such as hip dislocation, Little Man is also getting a hip ultrasound at the same time he's having the testicular one.
Basically McBaby needs physical therapy to correct the Torticollis. And hopefully the PT will strengthen his neck muscles and that, along with MUCH more tummy time, will correct the positional plagiocephaly. I'm praying for that... I don't want him to need to wear a helmet or, worse, have a permanently misshapen head! But my pediatrician said we caught both conditions early enough and I hope she's right.
I'd been having terrible guilt about the flat head until I read that it's related to the Torticollis, which I had no control over. But I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I literally SOBBED in the shower. Part of it was due to my son's issues and the rest was due to lack of sleep—as he also got his shots and did NOT sleep on Wednesday night (thus nor did I).
Motherhood is SO hard. And while I knew it would be, the reality is somewhat overwhelming. And I often get comments like "get used to it" re: the lack of sleep. But I'm sorry, I don't function well on the limited sleep and it's taking its toll.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely adore my little boy and am so grateful he's here and—despite his "not-so-good" issues—is healthy.
First with the good stuff. He's healthy. He's thriving.
At birth he weighed 9 lb and was 20.5 inches long.
Now he's 13 lb 8 oz and 23 inches long.
That's 90th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I asked if I should be concerned about the disparity (ie. weight) and was told at this age it's not an issue. He's not overly chubby, so I guess he's just SOLID. My coworker calls him "Bruiser" and I often do, too. He's just a strong baby.
He's meeting milestones. He smiles, he laughs, he's a happy baby, really. And he only cries when hungry, wet/messy diaper and when wants to be held. All normal and to be expected for two months.
But there was some "not-so-good" news, too. I'll start with the most minor one.
Little Man has an umbilical hernia, which apparently is very common in babies and most times close up by the time they turn 1. I was told not to be concerned about this.
Next is the Hydrocele he was born with. It hasn't gotten smaller since he was around two weeks old and the pediatrician wants Little Man to have a testicular ultrasound to make sure it IS a Hydrocele and not a hernia and also to make sure all is OK. If this doesn't recede on its own, he'll need to see a Pediatric Urologist and could possibly need surgery. I've known about this issue since his birth.
Fine. But I'm having problems finding a facility that's IN-NETWORK for my insurance that does this on babies. If I go in-network, it's covered at 100%. Otherwise we pay out of pocket since we have a $5000 family deductible. So I'm doing some research and trying to find a place to get this done. I do know of a Pediatric Urologist, however, if he does need to see one.
Lastly are two related issues. My son has a something called Torticollis (a condition in which a tight or shortened muscle on one side of the neck causes the head to tilt to one side) and also positional plagiocephaly, or flat head, which is due to babies spending so much time on their backs. It's also most common in infants who have Torticollis.
Since a small percent of babies born with torticollis will also have other problems such as hip dislocation, Little Man is also getting a hip ultrasound at the same time he's having the testicular one.
Basically McBaby needs physical therapy to correct the Torticollis. And hopefully the PT will strengthen his neck muscles and that, along with MUCH more tummy time, will correct the positional plagiocephaly. I'm praying for that... I don't want him to need to wear a helmet or, worse, have a permanently misshapen head! But my pediatrician said we caught both conditions early enough and I hope she's right.
I'd been having terrible guilt about the flat head until I read that it's related to the Torticollis, which I had no control over. But I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I literally SOBBED in the shower. Part of it was due to my son's issues and the rest was due to lack of sleep—as he also got his shots and did NOT sleep on Wednesday night (thus nor did I).
Motherhood is SO hard. And while I knew it would be, the reality is somewhat overwhelming. And I often get comments like "get used to it" re: the lack of sleep. But I'm sorry, I don't function well on the limited sleep and it's taking its toll.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely adore my little boy and am so grateful he's here and—despite his "not-so-good" issues—is healthy.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Two Month Photo
Blog to follow... it's been soooo long since I've been here! But here's a photo of McBaby from this morning. His two month pediatrician appointment is this afternoon. I'll post a true blog after that—with his stats.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
My Baby is One Month Old!
Well, that was on Monday... but being a sleep-deprived new mom does tend to cut into one's blogging time. I'm somewhat getting used to the sleep deprivation—somewhat. I think I could handle it better if the baby slept in at least 3 hour increments, but he still has no pattern. And he is EXTREMELY hard to burp, so he often spits up after he eats and can have terrible gas pains. And then there's the poop issue... only once a day or every other day. When once a day, he's fine but when it goes to two days, he can get uncomfortable. But I'm told that's normal (the infrequency) and not to worry.
Who tells a new mom NOT to worry?
I know not to worry but following through with that is not an easy feat. In fact, I was once told that a mother ALWAYS worries, no matter how old her child is. So when one's child is one month old and cannot verbalize how he feels, what he needs, etc., one worries.
But, overall, my son is a happy baby who holds his head up (honest!) and smiles and laughs. He has his moments and can be a champion fusser... but he seems to be content most of the time. At least I hope so!
So this first month flew by... it goes SOOOOOO quickly. And while part of me looks forward to the coming months when he sleeps more, is more alert and more active, I know I have to savor every second of this "newborn" stage and just enjoy him.
Here's my son the day he turned one month old.
Who tells a new mom NOT to worry?
I know not to worry but following through with that is not an easy feat. In fact, I was once told that a mother ALWAYS worries, no matter how old her child is. So when one's child is one month old and cannot verbalize how he feels, what he needs, etc., one worries.
But, overall, my son is a happy baby who holds his head up (honest!) and smiles and laughs. He has his moments and can be a champion fusser... but he seems to be content most of the time. At least I hope so!
So this first month flew by... it goes SOOOOOO quickly. And while part of me looks forward to the coming months when he sleeps more, is more alert and more active, I know I have to savor every second of this "newborn" stage and just enjoy him.
Here's my son the day he turned one month old.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Four Weeks
I'm too tired to really say much, but I'm getting used to it. Being tired that is.
McBaby is now four weeks old. On Monday he'll be a month old. Wow. He is SO big and he eats like crazy. Yesterday he didn't sleep, however. But today he did. I guess this is something to get used to—not having a schedule and having fussy days. But I hope it's not going to be the usual way of things.
Will post a better blog on Monday to reflect on the first month of mommyhood.
But here's a pic of McBaby taken on September 10th.
McBaby is now four weeks old. On Monday he'll be a month old. Wow. He is SO big and he eats like crazy. Yesterday he didn't sleep, however. But today he did. I guess this is something to get used to—not having a schedule and having fussy days. But I hope it's not going to be the usual way of things.
Will post a better blog on Monday to reflect on the first month of mommyhood.
But here's a pic of McBaby taken on September 10th.
Monday, August 31, 2009
The First Two Weeks
Flew by SO fast. That first week when my hubby and I were so overwhelmed by the baby, who wasn't sleeping and was so fussy and miserable seems so long ago. Then on August 21st, McBaby had his Bris and we hired a baby nurse (the wonderful Yvonne) for a week. My husband and I both SLEPT for a week. He slept through the night but I still heard my baby cry and did wake up to check in on him during the night (but left the care to Yvonne). We discovered he was gassy/fussy and switched his formula from the Enfamil Premium Lipil to the Enfamil Gentlease. It's helped with the gas, but now he's not pooping.
Sorry about that commentary, folks. But my son's bodily functions are very much on my mind these days. I'm so involved in his pee, poop, spit up, etc. that it's somewhat frightening. But his pooping is a sign of health, so if he doesn't poop by 6 pm today I actually have to call his pediatrician's office again. (I call a lot; new mom questions etc.)
But the baby is thriving. Here are his stats.
BIRTH
Weight 9 lb
Length 20.5 inches
2 DAYS (left hospital)
Weight: 8 lb 5 oz
Length: same
Bili Level: 9.6
3 DAYS (1st Pediatrician Visit)
Weight: 8 lb 4 oz
Length: same
Bili Level: LabCorp didn't send results, had to retest the next day at the local hospital
MADE DECISION TO FORMULA FEED ON DAY 3 AND THINGS BEGAN TO IMPROVE!
5 DAYS (Follow-Up due to Jaundice/Lab Mix Up)
Weight: 8 lb 8 oz
Length: same
Bili Level: 7 (all is well)
14 DAYS (The Two Week Visit)
Weight: 9 lb 5 oz (back to birth weight and then some!)
Length: 20.75
So the baby is healthy, growing, eating, sleeping (though that's an adventure), peeing but not pooping (need to watch that). And here he is, a picture of him sleeping the other day.
Sorry about that commentary, folks. But my son's bodily functions are very much on my mind these days. I'm so involved in his pee, poop, spit up, etc. that it's somewhat frightening. But his pooping is a sign of health, so if he doesn't poop by 6 pm today I actually have to call his pediatrician's office again. (I call a lot; new mom questions etc.)
But the baby is thriving. Here are his stats.
BIRTH
Weight 9 lb
Length 20.5 inches
2 DAYS (left hospital)
Weight: 8 lb 5 oz
Length: same
Bili Level: 9.6
3 DAYS (1st Pediatrician Visit)
Weight: 8 lb 4 oz
Length: same
Bili Level: LabCorp didn't send results, had to retest the next day at the local hospital
MADE DECISION TO FORMULA FEED ON DAY 3 AND THINGS BEGAN TO IMPROVE!
5 DAYS (Follow-Up due to Jaundice/Lab Mix Up)
Weight: 8 lb 8 oz
Length: same
Bili Level: 7 (all is well)
14 DAYS (The Two Week Visit)
Weight: 9 lb 5 oz (back to birth weight and then some!)
Length: 20.75
So the baby is healthy, growing, eating, sleeping (though that's an adventure), peeing but not pooping (need to watch that). And here he is, a picture of him sleeping the other day.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
My Newborn Vampire
Not in the sense that he drinks blood (that would be Enfamil, thank you) but because he has his days and nights mixed up. He's up and fussy between 1 and 4 am and, because of that, mommy and daddy are TIRED.
Now I seem better able to tolerate this than my husband. He's sleeping now while I'm blogging because I woke up STARVING. But I'm having "digestive issues" from my tear and finding something plain to eat is hard. Our family has helped by buying us groceries and bringing dinner, but the pantry is bare.
However, McBaby (even though I've mentioned his name before, this is a public blog and I may often just use that name) is doing MUCH better and so am I. I somewhat regret not giving breastfeeding a chance, but it was the right decision. He eats a LOT! He went back to the pediatrician yesterday for a recheck and he'd gained back 4 oz and is now at 8lb 8oz and will likely be back at his birth weight by the weekend.
He's taking at least 2 oz of formula every 2 hours. Sometimes more! My Ped said to feed on demand, and if I had done that with the breast I'd be feeding him every hour. Though the cost of formula will take it's toll on us. I hope we'll manage.
I'm so glad he's thriving. And we're... surviving.
His Bris is tomorrow. I hope that goes well. Poor baby boy won't like THAT!
Now I seem better able to tolerate this than my husband. He's sleeping now while I'm blogging because I woke up STARVING. But I'm having "digestive issues" from my tear and finding something plain to eat is hard. Our family has helped by buying us groceries and bringing dinner, but the pantry is bare.
However, McBaby (even though I've mentioned his name before, this is a public blog and I may often just use that name) is doing MUCH better and so am I. I somewhat regret not giving breastfeeding a chance, but it was the right decision. He eats a LOT! He went back to the pediatrician yesterday for a recheck and he'd gained back 4 oz and is now at 8lb 8oz and will likely be back at his birth weight by the weekend.
He's taking at least 2 oz of formula every 2 hours. Sometimes more! My Ped said to feed on demand, and if I had done that with the breast I'd be feeding him every hour. Though the cost of formula will take it's toll on us. I hope we'll manage.
I'm so glad he's thriving. And we're... surviving.
His Bris is tomorrow. I hope that goes well. Poor baby boy won't like THAT!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Days 1 & 2 Home with my Son
I'm not going to lie or go into the gory details, but yesterday SUCKED. My son didn't sleep, didn't eat, and I was so stressed that I felt insane. I tried pumping and I hated it and we ended up giving the baby formula—though not enough. He was STARVING. It broke my heart and both myself and my husband are exhausted today.
The baby has some minor health issues that should resolve themselves on their own. He's slightly jaundiced (need a 2nd bilirubin test tomorrow) and has hydroseal on his scrotum (water filled). If the latter doesn't get better on its own, he'll need to see a pediatric urologist.
But we went to the pediatrician today. It's a practice of 5 doctors and the one we saw was fantastic. She cared about both Aaron and me. And after seeing the pediatrician today, I've made a HUGE decision.
I'm not going to breastfeed.
While it's true that I'm not giving it a chance. I HATE pumping and after thinking long and hard about this, I don't want to be tied to a machine every 2 hours for weeks and pay all this money for lactation consultants and feel so stressed that my son feels stressed. So I'm going to be a proud formula feeder and let my milk dry up.
I was formula fed and turned out OK. I have several friends who went this route (and several who breastfed) and for my own mental sanity and health, I've made this choice.
Some women may judge me. But my friends won't.
Now to figure out how to survive engorgement/and shutting down milk production. But I feel better about that and that I'll be able to heal.
The baby has some minor health issues that should resolve themselves on their own. He's slightly jaundiced (need a 2nd bilirubin test tomorrow) and has hydroseal on his scrotum (water filled). If the latter doesn't get better on its own, he'll need to see a pediatric urologist.
But we went to the pediatrician today. It's a practice of 5 doctors and the one we saw was fantastic. She cared about both Aaron and me. And after seeing the pediatrician today, I've made a HUGE decision.
I'm not going to breastfeed.
While it's true that I'm not giving it a chance. I HATE pumping and after thinking long and hard about this, I don't want to be tied to a machine every 2 hours for weeks and pay all this money for lactation consultants and feel so stressed that my son feels stressed. So I'm going to be a proud formula feeder and let my milk dry up.
I was formula fed and turned out OK. I have several friends who went this route (and several who breastfed) and for my own mental sanity and health, I've made this choice.
Some women may judge me. But my friends won't.
Now to figure out how to survive engorgement/and shutting down milk production. But I feel better about that and that I'll be able to heal.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
He's Here!
Our son, Aaron, was born on Friday August 14th at 2:31 PM. We are completely in love.
Here's how it all happened:
On Thursday night I checked in at the hospital at 8 PM for my induction. I was there for a few hours, dealing with paperwork and getting settled (blood draws, pick line, etc.) before the nurse inserted the Cervidil. In case you don't know, Cervidil is something like a suppository that makes the cervix thin out and become receptive for labor. That was an overnight deal, so I was also given an Ambien so I could sleep. I honestly didn't get much sleep—kept waking up to pee—but I did a little.
Then it was Friday morning around 7 AM. The nurse checked my cervix and while it hadn't dilated past the 1 cm I was the night before (and at my prior office visits), I was 100% effaced and the baby was at -1 station.
The OB on call (and one I really like) came by at 8 or 8:30 AM and checked me, and started me on the lowest dose of Pitocin (oxytocin, to cause contractions) possible. She also broke my water—that was weird! I was doing OK through them until around 10 AM, when they were beginning to make me nauseous. I was checked and was dilated to 3 and I got my epidural. It was AWESOME! And I progressed quickly after that. I rested, half-slept, and my husband played around on my laptop. When I was next checked—close to noon?—I was dilated to 7 CM!
My husband called my mom (and his mom) to let them know it was moving MUCH faster than we thought. It ended up moving even faster when, at 12:45 PM I was fully dilated to 10 cm and felt urges to push (even with the epidural, but it wasn't too painful). Hubby called the parents again and said COME NOW!!! Then the doctor came in, the nurse had me "practice push" for about an hour. My OB had another induction patient was also close but I apparently won the "race" and was to deliver first.
About 2 PM or so, I was READY. Honestly, I only pushed for about a half hour with brief breaks of Oxygen (baby's heartrate dipped a bit, as did mine, but we both perked up with the oxygen mask). It was tough, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in at a few times, but overall not too terrible. Aaron was born at 2:31 PM to comments from my OB of "Whoa that's a HUGE head" and "That's a BIG baby!!!"
Aaron weighed 9 lb even and was 20.25 (or 20.5) inches long. (Need to double check on length.)
The one BAD part of it all... he was so big that he didn't quite fit and I tore VERY badly. Basically as bad as one CAN tear. I have 4th degree tears to my perineum and rectum. My OB basically had to completely repair my anus. It's pretty painful and will be a tough recovery. I'm on major stool softeners and pain meds. I hope that I won't have any complications from this. But the doctors and nurses are all, apparently, amazed by my pain tolerance and my attitude and how such a "small person" (thanks for saying I'm small, at 5'4") had such a LARGE baby.
I guess that explains the 40 lbs I gained! Nine of it was baby, and about nine or so was blood volume, amniotic fluid, uterus, placenta, etc. I'm not weighing myself for a while—I don't need to know—and I can't exercise or do any heavy lifting for six weeks. So I'm just going to take it easy and get well. And learn to breastfeed. My son and I are learning together but we'll get there.
So there you go... he's here. Aaron. We feel so blessed to have him.
Here's how it all happened:
On Thursday night I checked in at the hospital at 8 PM for my induction. I was there for a few hours, dealing with paperwork and getting settled (blood draws, pick line, etc.) before the nurse inserted the Cervidil. In case you don't know, Cervidil is something like a suppository that makes the cervix thin out and become receptive for labor. That was an overnight deal, so I was also given an Ambien so I could sleep. I honestly didn't get much sleep—kept waking up to pee—but I did a little.
Then it was Friday morning around 7 AM. The nurse checked my cervix and while it hadn't dilated past the 1 cm I was the night before (and at my prior office visits), I was 100% effaced and the baby was at -1 station.
The OB on call (and one I really like) came by at 8 or 8:30 AM and checked me, and started me on the lowest dose of Pitocin (oxytocin, to cause contractions) possible. She also broke my water—that was weird! I was doing OK through them until around 10 AM, when they were beginning to make me nauseous. I was checked and was dilated to 3 and I got my epidural. It was AWESOME! And I progressed quickly after that. I rested, half-slept, and my husband played around on my laptop. When I was next checked—close to noon?—I was dilated to 7 CM!
My husband called my mom (and his mom) to let them know it was moving MUCH faster than we thought. It ended up moving even faster when, at 12:45 PM I was fully dilated to 10 cm and felt urges to push (even with the epidural, but it wasn't too painful). Hubby called the parents again and said COME NOW!!! Then the doctor came in, the nurse had me "practice push" for about an hour. My OB had another induction patient was also close but I apparently won the "race" and was to deliver first.
About 2 PM or so, I was READY. Honestly, I only pushed for about a half hour with brief breaks of Oxygen (baby's heartrate dipped a bit, as did mine, but we both perked up with the oxygen mask). It was tough, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in at a few times, but overall not too terrible. Aaron was born at 2:31 PM to comments from my OB of "Whoa that's a HUGE head" and "That's a BIG baby!!!"
Aaron weighed 9 lb even and was 20.25 (or 20.5) inches long. (Need to double check on length.)
The one BAD part of it all... he was so big that he didn't quite fit and I tore VERY badly. Basically as bad as one CAN tear. I have 4th degree tears to my perineum and rectum. My OB basically had to completely repair my anus. It's pretty painful and will be a tough recovery. I'm on major stool softeners and pain meds. I hope that I won't have any complications from this. But the doctors and nurses are all, apparently, amazed by my pain tolerance and my attitude and how such a "small person" (thanks for saying I'm small, at 5'4") had such a LARGE baby.
I guess that explains the 40 lbs I gained! Nine of it was baby, and about nine or so was blood volume, amniotic fluid, uterus, placenta, etc. I'm not weighing myself for a while—I don't need to know—and I can't exercise or do any heavy lifting for six weeks. So I'm just going to take it easy and get well. And learn to breastfeed. My son and I are learning together but we'll get there.
So there you go... he's here. Aaron. We feel so blessed to have him.
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