In the last month, I've had a lot of time to reflect on things. My father had surgery to close an abdominal abscess from a hernia surgery back in 2003. This abscess was infected with MRSA (now resolved) and the surgery was complex. My father is currently recuperating at home. It's pretty intense. The visiting nurse service is coming 3x per week as is a physical therapist. Though he has the go-ahead to get back to most normal activities, he cannot come back to work for another 3 weeks--though he may stop by to supervise (as it is his company). And my mother's Parkinson's Disease has also worsened. The day after my father's surgery, I took her to her specialist in NYC. The visit was good and bad. Good in that I have a better understanding of what's going on. Bad in that I'm not entirely sure my mother is completely lucid all the time.
So a lot of stress for me as most of this falls on my shoulders. My brother, who lives in the family home, is not able to help me. His business is not to share here, but I can say that I'm alone in this. And my husband has a long, stressful commute to his job in NYC and when he is home, things still fall on me. Add taking care of a chronically cranky toddler (maybe not chronically, but definitely often), I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Therefore I let a lot of my worries about Little Man's speech go for now. He is now 21 months old and he still doesn't say that much, but I have noticed an increase over the last week. I'm hoping that over the next 2.5 months I see a major language explosion so I can go to his 2 year well visit in August confident that he is progressing as he should. But if he is not, my focus WILL shift back to my son's speech and I will get him any and all aid he needs.
I'm still hoping he'll just suddenly say to me "Mama, yogurt please!" or "Dada, more berries." We'll see.
Little Man is my joy. He really is. Even when I complain about the tantrums (the ones for no apparent reason are the worst) and how hard it is to change his diaper sometimes, he makes my life complete. Not so long ago, really, I thought I'd never get married or have a child. I'm glad things turned out as they did. And even though once upon a time I thought I'd have two children--a boy and a girl--I am content with just my boy and hope that one day, he will marry a fantastic woman who will, in some way, become a daughter to me.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Speech Worries
Dude is worried about Little Man's speech. He is very concerned that it is not at the level where a 20-month-old should be. I'm not really sure if I should be worried or not. He says words--about 10 to 15 with consistency--but he's not speaking in sentences and the only "new" word of late is rock.
I keep wondering at what point do you call Early Intervention? My pediatrician's office is great and I am going to speak with the doctor to discuss this before "jumping the gun" or panicking. And you keep being told, as a mother, not to compare your child to others. But I don't see how you CAN'T compare. I take Little Man to The Little Gym on Sunday mornings and while he IS the youngest in his class (Beasts: 19 months - 2-1/2 years), it seems at times that he's the only child NOT participating in the "circle" time and he's too busy exploring. But then he DOES come and run with the group and he climbed right onto the parachute last week, so he's improving. Maybe he just needs time.
I think Dude worries too much sometimes. And I think HE thinks I'm too Laissez Faire about milestones. I don't think I am. Usually I'M considered to be the frantic one. But I keep thinking that Little Man is progressing as he should. He's a toddler. He's still a baby in many ways. And he may just need time to get there. Right?
Heck, Little Man didn't walk until the day before 15 months. That wasn't a delay, but it was later than some children. (Though Dude didn't walk until 18 months and I was 17 months.) And I was told by my MIL that Dude didn't talk until he was 2. Neither did my brother. Nor my one cousin. So 20 months and only saying a handful of words isn't TOO odd.
I know that Little Man understands a LOT and hopefully he'll ease our fears shortly. I guess I can't help but worry a little, he's my first child. My only child. I want him to be where he should be. Not "perfect" but at the right level.
I keep wondering at what point do you call Early Intervention? My pediatrician's office is great and I am going to speak with the doctor to discuss this before "jumping the gun" or panicking. And you keep being told, as a mother, not to compare your child to others. But I don't see how you CAN'T compare. I take Little Man to The Little Gym on Sunday mornings and while he IS the youngest in his class (Beasts: 19 months - 2-1/2 years), it seems at times that he's the only child NOT participating in the "circle" time and he's too busy exploring. But then he DOES come and run with the group and he climbed right onto the parachute last week, so he's improving. Maybe he just needs time.
I think Dude worries too much sometimes. And I think HE thinks I'm too Laissez Faire about milestones. I don't think I am. Usually I'M considered to be the frantic one. But I keep thinking that Little Man is progressing as he should. He's a toddler. He's still a baby in many ways. And he may just need time to get there. Right?
Heck, Little Man didn't walk until the day before 15 months. That wasn't a delay, but it was later than some children. (Though Dude didn't walk until 18 months and I was 17 months.) And I was told by my MIL that Dude didn't talk until he was 2. Neither did my brother. Nor my one cousin. So 20 months and only saying a handful of words isn't TOO odd.
I know that Little Man understands a LOT and hopefully he'll ease our fears shortly. I guess I can't help but worry a little, he's my first child. My only child. I want him to be where he should be. Not "perfect" but at the right level.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Assumptions
My blog post yesterday about the woman who drove her car into the Hudson River was written prior to more information about this tragedy. Here's an updated article about it (as of April 14th at 10:30 am).
I made assumptions about this woman without knowing the full story. Though my initial reaction of horror remains. Because I cannot imagine murdering my children, no matter how distraught I may be. But I am lucky in having the support of a loving family. I know that, if I ever needed them, they'd be there for me. My aunts and uncles, too, even though my relationship with them has been damaged due to my brother's interactions with them. They love me, but because I live with my brother, I don't see or speak to them as often as I would had had I not moved in with my family.
People make assumptions all the time. About how well off one may be. About others' lives. And there is that saying about making assumptions: Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
I'm going to try to teach Little Man to make decisions based on fact. Or, at the very least, to be willing to let his mind be changed. But I want him to be true to himself as well. Teaching him to be able to find a balance will be my true job as a parent.
So those are my thoughts today. And I also still tend to track monthly milestones as today Little Man is 20 months old. In just 4 more months, he'll turn 2. And over the next 30 days I plan to keep an eye (or ear) on his speech. His pediatrician said if he wasn't speaking in 2 word sentences by 21 months to make an appointment to discuss his speech. I don't want to ASSUME he'll need Early Intervention, but I also don't want to dismiss it. Hopefully he's on track and will catch up. I guess we'll see.
I made assumptions about this woman without knowing the full story. Though my initial reaction of horror remains. Because I cannot imagine murdering my children, no matter how distraught I may be. But I am lucky in having the support of a loving family. I know that, if I ever needed them, they'd be there for me. My aunts and uncles, too, even though my relationship with them has been damaged due to my brother's interactions with them. They love me, but because I live with my brother, I don't see or speak to them as often as I would had had I not moved in with my family.
People make assumptions all the time. About how well off one may be. About others' lives. And there is that saying about making assumptions: Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
I'm going to try to teach Little Man to make decisions based on fact. Or, at the very least, to be willing to let his mind be changed. But I want him to be true to himself as well. Teaching him to be able to find a balance will be my true job as a parent.
So those are my thoughts today. And I also still tend to track monthly milestones as today Little Man is 20 months old. In just 4 more months, he'll turn 2. And over the next 30 days I plan to keep an eye (or ear) on his speech. His pediatrician said if he wasn't speaking in 2 word sentences by 21 months to make an appointment to discuss his speech. I don't want to ASSUME he'll need Early Intervention, but I also don't want to dismiss it. Hopefully he's on track and will catch up. I guess we'll see.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Mothers Who Kill
After years of longing to be a mother--thinking I'd never get married or have that child I'd always dreamed of--I cannot even fathom harming a hair on his head. Of course there are moments when Little Man's extreme tantrums drive me to yell at him and feel quite frustrated. But when I have those moments of human frailty, I will safely deposit Little Man in his crib and walk away for a moment to catch my breath. And if I yell at him, I apologize for losing my temper. But to even consider harming him... it makes me sick.
Today I read about a New York State woman who drowned 3 of her 4 children, only sparing her 10-year-old son. The story link is here: New York Mother Drives Minivan Into Hudson River, Killing 3 Kids and Self I cannot understand being so depressed (which is my assumption, PPD) that the only solution a woman finds is to drown herself and her children. I understand suicidal thoughts but not murderous ones--especially when at one's own children. But my bout of the baby blues was relatively mild, once I'd decided to formula feed. And I was worried about Postpartum Depression, because I've battled depression in the past.
But I think there must be something more to this. Why drowning? Is it biblical in a manner that I cannot understand, as my faith is different? Several women have done this. Susan Smith. Andrea Yates. Even last year, there was a woman who did this (I'd have to Google to find out who/where). Now this NY woman. I cannot even imagine how her surviving son feels right now. My heart breaks for him.
So today I will spend my time with Little Man reminding myself how lucky I am to have him. I always knew that if I only had one child, I would have a son. And I do have this AMAZING son and I am so grateful for him and would do whatever I could to protect him--even from myself. Thankfully I never had to worry about that. Sadly there are children who do.
Today I read about a New York State woman who drowned 3 of her 4 children, only sparing her 10-year-old son. The story link is here: New York Mother Drives Minivan Into Hudson River, Killing 3 Kids and Self I cannot understand being so depressed (which is my assumption, PPD) that the only solution a woman finds is to drown herself and her children. I understand suicidal thoughts but not murderous ones--especially when at one's own children. But my bout of the baby blues was relatively mild, once I'd decided to formula feed. And I was worried about Postpartum Depression, because I've battled depression in the past.
But I think there must be something more to this. Why drowning? Is it biblical in a manner that I cannot understand, as my faith is different? Several women have done this. Susan Smith. Andrea Yates. Even last year, there was a woman who did this (I'd have to Google to find out who/where). Now this NY woman. I cannot even imagine how her surviving son feels right now. My heart breaks for him.
So today I will spend my time with Little Man reminding myself how lucky I am to have him. I always knew that if I only had one child, I would have a son. And I do have this AMAZING son and I am so grateful for him and would do whatever I could to protect him--even from myself. Thankfully I never had to worry about that. Sadly there are children who do.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Yes, I let my toddler watch TV
Probably TOO much TV. But there you go. Sesame Street and the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse allows me to have coffee and eat breakfast. Or at the very least try to eat breakfast since Little Man has decided he wants to have my cereal, from my bowl, in the morning. That habit actually stopped me from having Peanut Butter Captain Crunch today (yes, I eat like a kid) because Little Man hasn't had peanuts yet. But the TV often distracts him enough for me to eat, or empty and reload the dishwasher, or throw a load of laundry in the wash.
That being said, I don't want him to watch TOO much TV and am working to change this habit (if it isn't too late to do so) by spending a LOT of time with him, playing in his bedroom. And as the weather gets nicer, he will be OUTSIDE as much as possible during his waking hours--when I'm not at the office. Since he's still coming to work with me (hoping to do 2 days in daycare starting in June), I don't have as much opportunity to take him outside. But I did manage on St. Patrick's Day when the weather was hovering around 70 degrees.
Here's a photo of him from that day.
Cute, huh?
Seriously, he does watch too much TV but at least it's age appropriate. The aforementioned Sesame Street, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Jake & the Neverland Pirates (because it's on), Dora, Diego, The Wonder Pets, The Fresh Beat Band and, on occasion, Yo Gabba Gabba, Special Agent Oso and (my favorite) Jack's Big Music Show.
Little Man will reply to questions that are asked by Dora or Diego--usually with a "NO!" Or he'll say "Bap Pap" and "Map" if Dora asks her audience who do you ask when ___? So I guess he is learning. He even says "tip toe" thanks to the Hic Boom Oh episode.
So I guess there are worse things he could be doing, right?
But I DO need to cut back. I don't want him to become a couch potato.
That being said, I don't want him to watch TOO much TV and am working to change this habit (if it isn't too late to do so) by spending a LOT of time with him, playing in his bedroom. And as the weather gets nicer, he will be OUTSIDE as much as possible during his waking hours--when I'm not at the office. Since he's still coming to work with me (hoping to do 2 days in daycare starting in June), I don't have as much opportunity to take him outside. But I did manage on St. Patrick's Day when the weather was hovering around 70 degrees.
Here's a photo of him from that day.
Cute, huh?
Seriously, he does watch too much TV but at least it's age appropriate. The aforementioned Sesame Street, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Jake & the Neverland Pirates (because it's on), Dora, Diego, The Wonder Pets, The Fresh Beat Band and, on occasion, Yo Gabba Gabba, Special Agent Oso and (my favorite) Jack's Big Music Show.
Little Man will reply to questions that are asked by Dora or Diego--usually with a "NO!" Or he'll say "Bap Pap" and "Map" if Dora asks her audience who do you ask when ___? So I guess he is learning. He even says "tip toe" thanks to the Hic Boom Oh episode.
So I guess there are worse things he could be doing, right?
But I DO need to cut back. I don't want him to become a couch potato.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Mister Personality and Miscellany
I noticed that I tend to blog about the less appealing aspects of motherhood. The sleepless nights. Hefting a nearly 28 lb toddler around. The temper tantrums. The nap strikes. And I guess I write about that because I need a place to vent about this. But, overall, my son is an absolutely amazing little boy who has a fantastic, sunny personality. Dude and I called him Sunshine when he was an infant because his sunny smile lit up rooms. His nature is cheerful, overall. Even when he's cranky, he can be FUN!
This picture, I think, captures Little Man's personality.
He has such a joyous energy about him. Recently a post on The Bump discussed describing your little one in one word. I chose "Charmer." I think it suits him. The response he gets from people is amazing. Even from just photos online. I have many people I consider to be friends, of sorts, from meeting them on various message boards. I've reconnected on Facebook with some—along with friends from college and high school (or even elementary school). I find it nice, actually. Even though I thought I would NOT want to be in touch with anyone, considering how much I hated school overall (due to the bullying). Yet I'm glad to be in touch with everyone that I am and I actually wish I could spend time with my friends in person. But that's for another blog altogether, I think.
Right now, Little Man is actually napping. He went out with us on errands—buying a new sofa for our "family" room (small TV room next to our kitchen) and getting a birthday present for our oldest niece, Miss M. And, as an aside, it's not easy buying for a six-going-on-sixteen-year-old. So we ended up getting her a gift card per my sister-in-law's suggestion. I hope Miss M isn't insulted by the lack of actual present.
Again, Little Man is napping. He slept from around 8:15 pm to 6 am (he almost always wakes by 6:30). Then he napped early (9:15 to 10:30). I took him for a long ride around the block in his Little Tikes car. He was SO happy because he adores being outdoors. Then after lunch, we bought the sofa (because the dogs keep peeing on the current one) and did our Toys R Us run. Then Costco to get food for dinner. And basically the minute his head hit the crib (no pillow yet), he was fast asleep—that was at 3:40 pm. It's almost 4:30 as I type and hopefully he'll manage an hour and will be cheerful for the rest of the day. It seems that Little Man gets crankier when he hasn't napped well. Though I also think it's due to his inability to run around as much as he'd like.
Tomorrow we'll see Dude's side of the family. All seven cousins will be together. I'm curious to see how Little Man does, since he doesn't really interact with other children. And I'm actually taking him to The Little Gym for a free introductory class tomorrow. If he likes it, I'll sign him up for the rest of the session. I hope he does.
Until next time...
SweetNJMom signing off
This picture, I think, captures Little Man's personality.
He has such a joyous energy about him. Recently a post on The Bump discussed describing your little one in one word. I chose "Charmer." I think it suits him. The response he gets from people is amazing. Even from just photos online. I have many people I consider to be friends, of sorts, from meeting them on various message boards. I've reconnected on Facebook with some—along with friends from college and high school (or even elementary school). I find it nice, actually. Even though I thought I would NOT want to be in touch with anyone, considering how much I hated school overall (due to the bullying). Yet I'm glad to be in touch with everyone that I am and I actually wish I could spend time with my friends in person. But that's for another blog altogether, I think.
Right now, Little Man is actually napping. He went out with us on errands—buying a new sofa for our "family" room (small TV room next to our kitchen) and getting a birthday present for our oldest niece, Miss M. And, as an aside, it's not easy buying for a six-going-on-sixteen-year-old. So we ended up getting her a gift card per my sister-in-law's suggestion. I hope Miss M isn't insulted by the lack of actual present.
Again, Little Man is napping. He slept from around 8:15 pm to 6 am (he almost always wakes by 6:30). Then he napped early (9:15 to 10:30). I took him for a long ride around the block in his Little Tikes car. He was SO happy because he adores being outdoors. Then after lunch, we bought the sofa (because the dogs keep peeing on the current one) and did our Toys R Us run. Then Costco to get food for dinner. And basically the minute his head hit the crib (no pillow yet), he was fast asleep—that was at 3:40 pm. It's almost 4:30 as I type and hopefully he'll manage an hour and will be cheerful for the rest of the day. It seems that Little Man gets crankier when he hasn't napped well. Though I also think it's due to his inability to run around as much as he'd like.
Tomorrow we'll see Dude's side of the family. All seven cousins will be together. I'm curious to see how Little Man does, since he doesn't really interact with other children. And I'm actually taking him to The Little Gym for a free introductory class tomorrow. If he likes it, I'll sign him up for the rest of the session. I hope he does.
Until next time...
SweetNJMom signing off
Monday, February 28, 2011
Two Weeks Late... but 18 Month Stats!
Once again, I failed miserably at updating this blog. I don't know how other mom bloggers do it--especially if they also work. I spend most of my time with Little Man and trying to make our house a home (it is... it's just completely disorganized). So I have completely forgotten about blogging and mostly spend time on Facebook. Though I occasionally Tweet on Twitter. But I digress. Stats.
Height: 34 inches
Weight: 27 lb 9 oz
75th percentile for both.
So Little Man is doing well. He's talking more and more--though I don't always understand him. Our pediatrician is pretty laid back and answered all my questions. I'll keep an eye on his speech and if Little Man is NOT speaking in sentences by 21 months, I'll call for an appointment. Otherwise he doesn't go back until he's two. That's surreal. After the last 18 months of going either monthly or every 3 months, we have a 6 month gap. Then, I think, a YEAR'S gap between visits. My baby is such a BOY now.
See?
The photo was taken on January 31st after a snowstorm. Recent enough, I think. Little Man hasn't really changed over the last month. And I ended up taking most of my recent pics on my iPhone. (LOVE it by the way.) I need to get back to documenting things with the little Cannon ELPH I have.
Other stats to share...
Diaper Size: 5!!!!! I can't believe how big he is!
Shoe Size: 6 wide (and he needs more shoes, all the donated ones from family are regular width)
Clothing Size: 24 Month (though he has a short torso and many pants are too long)
Tooth Count: 15 with #16 budding and nearly out (the last pesky canine)
Hair Color: Dark Blond
Eye Color: Hazel (Green if he wears green)
And he can count to two. LOL. Uhn. Do!
I guess that's it for today. Until later...
Height: 34 inches
Weight: 27 lb 9 oz
75th percentile for both.
So Little Man is doing well. He's talking more and more--though I don't always understand him. Our pediatrician is pretty laid back and answered all my questions. I'll keep an eye on his speech and if Little Man is NOT speaking in sentences by 21 months, I'll call for an appointment. Otherwise he doesn't go back until he's two. That's surreal. After the last 18 months of going either monthly or every 3 months, we have a 6 month gap. Then, I think, a YEAR'S gap between visits. My baby is such a BOY now.
See?
The photo was taken on January 31st after a snowstorm. Recent enough, I think. Little Man hasn't really changed over the last month. And I ended up taking most of my recent pics on my iPhone. (LOVE it by the way.) I need to get back to documenting things with the little Cannon ELPH I have.
Other stats to share...
Diaper Size: 5!!!!! I can't believe how big he is!
Shoe Size: 6 wide (and he needs more shoes, all the donated ones from family are regular width)
Clothing Size: 24 Month (though he has a short torso and many pants are too long)
Tooth Count: 15 with #16 budding and nearly out (the last pesky canine)
Hair Color: Dark Blond
Eye Color: Hazel (Green if he wears green)
And he can count to two. LOL. Uhn. Do!
I guess that's it for today. Until later...
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