Mothering MY Mother

My mom has never been a strong person. She is more apt to let someone else take the lead. But she used to be stubborn and would not give in to someone else, if she didn't agree with them. Not so much the last few years. I was amazed that she put such effort into planning my wedding in 2008. But she did with enthusiasm. That was the last time she was so excited, I think.

In part, it's because of her neurological issues. She has had a tremor since she was 60. It was eventually diagnosed as an Orthostatic Tremor and she has been going to Columbia in NYC for her consults the last 5 or 6 years. In addition to the Orthostatic Tremor, she eventually was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. This was also in 2008.

In the last 4 years, her condition has deteriorated beyond belief—most of the decline in the last 12 months, the last 4 in particular.  And in addition she is depressed. No wonder, considering how she went from an active woman who loved to travel to someone who can barely walk or eat, due to the cruel progress of Parkinson's Disease.

Last week, when my father and brother were on a business trip, I took my mom (along with her sister) to a Pulmonologist to consult on a chest x-ray that showed fluid in her pluera just outside her lung. He felt that it was due to her Parkinson's and she was admitted to the local hospital. Today she received a peg tube for feeding as she is unable to swallow (from the Parkinson's). This is a huge change in her life. It will be good in that she will have better nutrition. But the emotional change will be stark, I think. Even though she has not been able to eat, and the poor nutrition has greatly affected her, I don't know how she will react. 

And I've been exhausted from going back and forth between her room and home, to be with Little Man.  My best friend helped that first day and extended family has done so since. Tomorrow will be the first day I am unable to spend quality time with my mother and it upsets me, as there is a lot to figure out. My father also comes home tomorrow, so he will be involved from then on. I feel like I went around him, but it could not be avoided.

I hope that she will have a brief stay at a rehab facility and that, once she's home, she is in better shape overall. I'm not sure how this will turn out. I am very worried about her and her emotional state. I am praying that things will go smoothly, but I am not holding my breath. I guess we'll see.